The Eight: Reindeer Monologues at Downstairs Cabaret Theatre

As
stories of the North Pole and its jolly goings-on get updated for television
and movie screens year after year, so too do those sweet stories’ foils. Jeff
Goode’s The Eight: Reindeer Monologues is a dark comedy that has enjoyed success in the only society that could
understand it: a society obsessed with celebrity and sex scandals. Even better
if those sex scandals involve celebrities.

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  Downstairs
Cabaret Theatre puts on the brave, randy production with pluck and a few truly
bright performances. After Santa is accused of raping one of his reindeer, the
victim’s coworkers and the victim herself, Santa’s Eight, tell the story in a
simple string of monologues. The narrative arc of the script pulls the action
through what would have been just a series of speeches. The allegations are
hinted at, whispered about — made mythical, appropriately enough — before
the real victims, and the full story, have their turn on stage.

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  Tom
Habecker made a spare but evocative set: appropriate for the play’s spare,
monologue structure. Three confusedly placed televisions silently play
stop-motion animation film for the actors to reference and flip off. A
precarious Christmas tree leans dangerously in the corner. Everything hints
that something in this holiday world is awry.

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  The
stereotypical characters — though they are technically reindeer, these types
are recognizable — are the same confused, blustering, angry, loyal, and
political characters who appear in the wake of a high-profile allegation. Their
commentaries are familiar, sometimes hysterically so. The costuming by Mary
Anne Deck helps characterize each type with subtle, recognizable markers, and
is appropriately anthropomorphic. The only thing to place these as four-legged
characters, besides the “fuzzy ass” and veterinarian references, are the floppy
antlers each actor wears.

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  Three
truly great performances carry the show. Bobby Conte handles the part of the
gay Cupid, a mincing stereotype if there ever was one, with excellent comic
timing. He deftly delivers the monologue’s political statements, and some truly
great commentary on a homophobic North Pole, without leaving the mark of a
two-by-four on the audience. Jay Falzone plays Donner, the herd deer with a bad
back and a mentally ill son, and delivers a difficult monologue with a graceful
balance of emotion and brokenness. The truly hysterical performance was
delivered by Jeffrey Alan Miller as Comet. He is the reformed former member of
Hell’s Herd, now rabidly loyal to Santa for turning his life around. His story
of flying in low over the city traffic, high on coke, gin, and bad marijuana,
to scare commuters, is priceless.

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  But
director Kate Arecchi casts a far too serious light on the nastiest
implications of this production. The angry, left-wing feminist Blitzen screams
to us that Santa is a serial child molester. The working-class Donner, father
of the mentally disabled Rudolph, tries desperately to make the audience
understand why he gave his son to the man who wanted to have his way with him.
The rape victim, Vixen, defiantly answers the public commentary into her
promiscuity and raises the question: Does anydeer ask to be raped? These are
all disturbing and powerful performances.

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  But
maybe too disturbing and powerful. This stuff of TV crime dramas delivered with
no sense of irony is just confusing. Particularly when nestled in a vulgar play
filled with jokes about reindeer sex and Mrs. Claus’ proclivity for tossing
elves. You can’t put on a play this outrageous and believe too strongly in the
victims’ innocence. Monologues about Santa using his reindeer for sex need to
have satirical awareness about them. Or else they fall off the funny radar into
creepy.

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  But
being at least a little disturbed is part of the fun. The Eight will wash the taste of candy cane right out of your mouth
with pockets of some truly wicked humor. It is a show made for people who know
that perversity, dysfunction, and naughtiness don’t take a break for the
holidays. But don’t bring a child to this show: You don’t want to have to
explain Rudolph’s new story to any kid.

The
Eight: Reindeer Monologues
is playing Thursday through Friday and
Monday through Tuesday, December 18 through 20 and 22 through 23, at Downstairs
Cabaret Theatre Two, 172 West Main Street. Showtimes are Thursday, Monday, and
Tuesday at 7:30 p.m., Friday at 8 p.m., and Saturday at 8:30 p.m. Tix: $15.
325-4370