Best place to buy lychees

Ocean Garden

What the hell is a lychee? It’s a drupe, man, botanically speaking. What it isn’t is a nut, though people often call them “lychee nuts.” They come in cans and jars in Asian stores
and Asian sections of stores. When you get them that way, you get just the
edible part of the fruit, which seems like a sweet version of a ring of squid.
And I mean that in the best possible way.

            My friend Karin introduced me to the
fresh fruits that come in a thin shell and surround a big pit. They’re
unbelievably fantabulous. They also cost about eight bucks a pound when you can
get them at Wegmans. When OceanGarden has ’em (not all the time),
they’re $1.98 a pound. I’ve been told by a Chinese friend that it’s considered
unhealthy or unsavory to eat more than a few, but c’mon! A buck ninety-eight a friggin’ pound!

            While you’re there, squeeze through
the tiny isles searching for treasures like ultra-spicy, unknown brands of
ramen, or pickled lemon, or… what is that, anyway? 971
South Clinton Avenue,
271-3705. (Adam Wilcox)

Best place to drink Xinomavro
The Olive Tree

The Olive Tree
restaurant has an exceptional selection of 17 Greek wines. Joanne and Peter
Gekas, and their son, Alexis, don’t expect patrons to be able to pronounce Xinomavro, Agiorgitiko, Moschofilero or Assyrtiko. Like
many regions of the world, the Greek wine industry has embraced quality
wine-making, using both vinifera and even more
interesting native varieties that are challenging to pronounce and pair
beautifully with Greek food. Why have another Merlot
or Chardonnay, when there are special Greek varieties that have evolved with
the cuisine over many centuries?

            Finger Lakes wines should be highlighted on local wine lists, but
exceptions can be made when an ethnic restaurant like The Olive Tree features
wines from its region of the world. In the era when Chianti came in bottles
wrapped in woven baskets, and Matteus was popular, retsina was the wine associated with Greece. This wine was aged in pine barrels, imparting the tree’s
unmistakable aromas and flavors. It is definitely an acquired taste, and in the
past 10 to 20 years, the Greek wine industry has modernized techniques and styles, while emphasizing their unique grapes. The bottles
are full of Greek sunshine! 165 Monroe Avenue, 454-3510. (Michael Warren Thomas)

Best chocolate fix

Sips’ Coffee Shop
brownie

Rich, dark,
sweet, smooth, and sensual.
Sounds dirty, but it’s not. It’s a brownie from Sips Coffee Shop on Pattonwood Drive in Irondequoit. And, for we chocolate fiends
always looking for our next fix, our fudgie delicious
high, it’s the best drug around.

            There they sit on the counter. Just
$1.95 stands between me and satiation. There are three scrumptious flavors:
peanut butter, peppermint patty, and fudge. For the true cocoa connoisseur, the
fudge brownie is the pinnacle of perfection. Allow me to titillate: a moist
chocolate brick sprinkled with dark chips and drizzled in creamy milk chocolate.
Heat it up in the microwave, and do it a
la mode with vanilla ice cream. Do it! That’s an order. 149 Pattonwood
Drive, Irondequoit, 323-9360. (Erin Morrison-Fortunato)

Best choke-it-down
beverage

Open Face’s matcha tea

“It doesn’t even look
like you’re enjoying it,” he observed as I took a swig. “But… it’s… so… good…
for… me,” I sputtered, confident that I would soon get used to the grassy
flavor. That’s the way it usually goes with matcha,
the antioxidant-crammed ground tea found at Open Face Sandwich Eatery. The
emerald-hued matcha is Japanese in origin, its
preparation beginning just before harvest when the tea bushes are covered to
slow down their growth, which results in the intense color and flavor. The fine
folks over at Open Face prepare the matcha using a
traditional bamboo whisk to combine the tea with hot (not boiling) water and a
little honey, so once the sweet notes kick in and mask the taste of freshly
mowed lawn, you can unwind and take pleasure in the fact that you’re doing
something totally beneficial for your body. Open Face also offers flavored matchas, though hardcore purists will no doubt stick with
that old-world zest. But I have to admit that for me those initial gulps of matcha have always been — with apologies to the Misfits
— green hell. 651
South Avenue,
232-3050. (DaynaPapaleo)

Best local snack
craze

Kettle corn

I have lived in many
cities and have attended many fairs. But never have I seen a populace so firmly
in the grasp of one festival food: kettle corn. Yes, fried dough/funnel cakes
and cotton candy get some love. But it just doesn’t seem like a festival in Rochester if you don’t have one of those two-foot tubes stuffed with
the puffs, which you nibble on while perusing bird sculptures made out of coat
hangers or something. Take a stroll through the summer’s Corn Hill or Park Ave fests and you’ll see kettle corn booths set barely 10 feet
apart from one another. You’ll be able to find them by the unwieldy lines
spilling out onto the street, stacked with people desperate to get their hands
and mouths on some of that salty-sweet goodness. If we’re going by snack food
alone, Rochester, you have great taste. (Eric Rezsnyak)

Best winter workout

Rock Ventures

Over the years I’ve
played most sports, from lacrosse to golf, baseball to cross-country. I’ve
played the ones that make no sense for a short, spindly guy, like volleyball
and football. And now, as I approach my athletic dotage and all my peers turn
toward golf or tai chi, I have returned to an adolescent love. Yep, that’s
right, I find stuff to climb and, well, I climb it. The reaction of pretty much
everyone that doesn’t climb is: “You’re going to kill yourself.” Truth be told,
that’s part of the fun. But I’m not off my gourd. You see, Rochester offers one of the best environments for learning to climb
and learning to climb safely: Rock Ventures. I had scoped out the place a few
times, but was always hesitant because it sounded like the training process
would take forever. I showed up with a companion and we were climbing a half
hour later. Even without the crest of a mountain from which to yell, the rush
of hitting the top on the wall routes is heady indeed. Rock Ventures is the
place to discover your inner gym rat. 1044 University Avenue, 442-5462. (Craig Brownlie)

Best place to leave
the Earth behind

Rochester astronomy club

Conventional wisdom
dictates that we keep our feet planted on the ground and stay “down to earth,”
but some of us know that getting carried away is a much better deal. While
daydreams and clouds certainly offer their rewards, there’s nothing quite like
taking in the shimmer of distant celestial bodies to restore a sense of wonder,
freedom, and peace with your surroundings all at once. On clear Saturday nights
between April and early December, the Astronomy Section of the Rochester
Academy of Science (a.k.a. Rochester’s astronomy club) presents free nighttime viewings at the RochesterMuseum & ScienceCenter’s Strasenburgh Planetarium
telescope. Once you’ve climbed the 60 steps to the observation deck, which is
located at the top of a turret-like tower on the Planetarium’s roof, you get to
look through the telescope while an astronomy club member explains what you’re
looking at. Keep in mind that dying stars and Saturn’s rings make great dating
fodder when beer, music, and movies wear thin. And there’s a warm social aspect
to craning your neck among strangers to spot a passing man-made satellite. If
you prefer naked-eye viewing away from the city’s high light level, the
astronomy club folks also host what they call “star parties” at various area
locations, such as MendonPondsPark. Visit www.rochesterastronomy.org for a viewing schedule. (Saby Reyes-Kulkarni)

Best family tree

ZelkovaSerrata, Highland
Park

It’s in our
neighborhood, but it was a Penfield friend who told us about it. His kids call
it “The Octopus Tree.” It’s a Japanese sycamore of some sort, but it is just so
unbelievably cool. If you go up Mt.Vernon to where it elbows to become Alpine, and then walk straight
into the park, it’s right there immediately on your right.

            The base of The Octopus Tree is
about 20′ in circumference, and it has a bunch of main trunks that split right
at the bottom and then climb straight up. Between the trunks is a kind of room
with a floor about 3′ from the ground, and then there are several places to sit
within easy climbing distance. All three of our kids can sit in it and once,
and do. For us, no trip to the park is complete without a stop to visit, as
Iris calls her, “my friend, Zelkova.” (Adam Wilcox)

Best young local
musician named Teddy, non-Geiger category

Teddy Nicolosi

All smaller towns do
it. You know, cling to any type of celebrity that has an impact outside city
limits and drive it into the ground. It’s an affection that goes way past
hometown pride and into a kind of desperate search for validation.

            There’s no denying the talent or
hard work Teddy Geiger has done to get to where he is, but Christ, enough
already. We all love young, good-looking, and talented, but Teddy ain’t the only one. There’s a new Teddy in town: Teddy Nicolosi. At 14 this younger half of the father/son guitar
duo Shared Genes is nothing short of amazing. And it’s not just the sensation
of his youth that drops jaws; this young man’s fleet-fingered fretwork will
only improve as he gets older, hits the road, and makes the big time. He’s not
on the cover of Seventeen yet but when he is we’ll all cling to him like we
cling to Geiger now. And though I admire both immensely, you’ll probably hear
me bitchin’ about them again at some point in the
future. (Frank De Blase)

Best band name you
didn’t pick

The Shitty Faggots

We’re loathe to correct our readers’ picks, mostly because you
guys do such a great job. But there was one omission we simply could not let go
by. When we first heard of the local band called The Shitty Faggots, we were
agog. Are they being ironic? Could they be thinking of the British use of the
word (a.k.a., cigarette)? Are they begging for a fight?

            No on the first two, maybe yes on
the last. The Shitty Faggots — guitarist DiggyPoo, bassist White Trash Willie, drummer E-Log, and
vocalist Teddy4Real4President — formed about a year ago, brought together by
a lifelong dream to form a punk rock band. These “Hilton folk,” as described by
DiggyPoo, picked the name
basically to get attention, but also to call attention to people’s hypocrisy.
“We say everything you think, but don’t want to say,” says Poo.

            The band admits that the nom de guerre has gotten them into a bit
of trouble, including one spring show at Montage that erupted into a fight when
several women reportedly attacked the band after taking offense at the name.
After the Faggots dropped off the radar for several months we wondered if
perhaps they’d been beaten to death by an angry mob. But no, the band is back,
with shows scheduled at the Penny Arcade (November 18) and the Bug Jar (December
19). (Eric Rezsnyak)

Best guitar face

The Grinders’ Todd Dentico

He squints, he
grimaces, his tongue wags, his eyes roll back. Yup,
it’s the guitar face, and The Grinders’ Todd Dentico’s
is the best.

            You see, the guitar face is a window
to the musician’s soul…or libido, anyway. It’s been theorized that the facial
contortions six-string slingers paste across their mugs on stage are not unlike
those worn while in flagrantedelicto. While this may be unsettling to some of
you more gentile music fans, I’ve always thought that the bops — both
horizontal and vertical — are one and the same; one you do with your guitar,
one you do with your lady. And though there are no pilfered Pam and Tommy-type
tapes circulating the scene to support this, it’s safe to say the faces of
ecstasy, joy, concentration, and drunken glee that play across Todd Dentico’s face while on stage bashing his Les Paul are the
same as when he…well, you know. (Frank De Blase)

Best jazz club
impresario

Pete McCrossen

It happened slowly
over the last several years, but gradually jazz fans began to realize something
very special was happening out at the Lodge at Woodcliff. Horizons Lounge, the
restaurant/bar at the hotel/conference center had slowly been transformed into
a premier jazz club. Gap Mangione’s groups could be
found there on the weekends. And the guest artists
mid-week just got better and better. The great piano protégé Eldar, wonderful Chilean singer Claudia Acuna,
powerhouse saxophonist LewTabackin,
breezy chanteuse Tierney Sutton, top jazz baritone Kevin Mahogany — the list
goes on and on. The man behind all of these bookings was Pete McCrossen. He didn’t just stick to the tried and true. He
took chances on new talent, bringing in future jazz guitar star Sheryl Bailey.
He booked local legend Joe Romano for one of his last Rochester gigs before he moved away. McCrossen
is no longer presiding over Horizons Lounge. Things are going to swing a little
less up on that hill in Fairport. (Ron Netsky)

Best innovative band

Lobster Quadrille

It’s tough to harness
rock music’s electricity without electricity. But through a blend of Southern
gothic pathos, old-time religion, and madness, The Lobster Quadrille positively
sizzles. The band is essentially plugged into an acoustic sound. Washboards,
kazoos, tambourines, and buckets permeate the haunting soundscape
recklessly teetering on the brink of sinister. And when frontman
Solomon Blaylock gets to preaching and ranting, it’s hard to tell just whose
side he’s on. Good? Evil? Who cares? This is this
town’s most innovative, interesting band that, by avoiding conventional rock
music, comes off infinitely more crushing. Hell, it’s almost biblical. (Frank
De Blase)

Best free tunes

College music department concerts

Want to hear some
glorious singing, a powerful orchestra, or a hot jazz band? Check the websites
of area colleges; there’s an embarrassment of riches awaiting you. The Eastman
School of Music, RobertsWesleyanCollege, SUNY Geneseo, NazarethCollege — any school that has a large music program is guaranteed
to have some serious talent on display. In recent years I’ve heard concerts
that leave me wondering if top professionals could possibly be any better. If
it’s been a while since you’ve heard the magnificent force of a symphony
orchestra, you can hear some of the major orchestra musicians of the future at
the acoustically marvelous Eastman Theatre. Chamber groups regularly fill
Kilbourn Hall with performances of otherworldly beauty. And if you’ve forgotten
how powerful the human voice can be when raised in gorgeous harmony, get
yourself down to SUNY Geneseo to hear one of the college’s choirs. You’ll
discover the true meaning of an overused word: awesome. (Ron Netsky)

Best evening out west
of the Genesee

“Ladies of Illusion”
Dinner Show

Drag shows in Greece. It’s a little bit of Vegas, right here on Long Pond Road.

            Aggy Dune
and Kasha Davis brought their “Cher and Friends” show to Golden Ponds in May and August. The
shows are big fun, with exquisite costumes, witty repartee, and dead-on
impersonations. That Cher, she’s a popular girl. Her friends include Bette, Liza,
Marilyn, Diana Ross, and even Sonny.

            Back in May, I got to dance on stage
with Tina Turner, as portrayed by Kasha. For a few shining moments, I felt
truly fabulous. Not bad for someone who regularly gets accused of dancing like
a character from A Charlie Brown
Christmas.

            The dinner buffet was good, too. I
expected some sort of pasta, and was pleasantly surprised by chicken French.

            Here are some helpful hints. The
best seats — long tables center stage — go to the biggest parties, so round
up all your buddies. And tip the ladies generously, especially if you’re trying
to pass for an eastsider.

            Aggy and
Kasha are back at Golden Ponds with the Big Wigs Holiday Show on December 9. Go
to www.stargramsandmore.com or call
723-1344. (Linda Kostin)

Best store mascots

Cockatiels at Mercury
Posters

How do I define
impersonal? Let me see — the help line for my DSL service; most high-rise
architecture; and chain stores. How would I add some personality? I know —
vocal inflection; granite gargoyles on the second floor; and in-store pets.
Just a few suggestions: black cats at Barnes & Noble, Black Angus cows at
McDonalds, peacocks at Abercrombie & Fitch. I could go on, but we are here
today to honor those establishments that already have a mascot. With nods to
golden retriever Kobe at Rock Ventures and the Cinema cat, we select Gordon
(R.I.P.), Lucy, and Rocky as our 2006 Best Store Mascots. Gordon moved on to
that great birdcage in the sky last December, but Lucy and Rocky continue to
greet customers in a way that inspires return visits. Truly, you have never
perused posters until you’ve done so with a cockatiel perched upon your
shoulder, shaking its head in disapproval over that cheesecake poster you’re
selecting instead of the Vermeer reproduction. (Let me tell Lucy just one thing
— that girl with the pearl earring was the Pam Anderson of her day.) On the
other hand, Lucy did save me from papering our house with wall-to-wall Thomas Kinkade. 1 Sumner Park, 271-3119.
(Craig Brownlie)

Best space-age fluff
‘n’ fold

The Laundry Room

<bestext>Doing your laundry isn’t supposed to be exciting
in either a positive or negative way, so we dismiss losing money at the
Laundromat as a matter of course, just to keep our pulse down. Surely there are
better things to worry about. But if you’re someone who can’t stand the thought
of even a small rip-off and have zero tolerance for inefficiency and poor
service, then you’ll be in heaven at The Laundry Room on Monroe Avenue, where
the chances of losing quarters to a broken machine are close to nil. The
Laundry Room features sturdy Wascomat units with
shiny metal exterior plating that, frankly, is a little intimidating. (And
that’s before you even get to the instruction sticker that practically requires
aeronautical training to decipher.) Some of the washers accommodate a whopping four loads, and each dryer has a sign
that screams (in red print, no less): “WARNING! ULTRA-EFFICIENT
DRYERS.” The place is always spic-and-span, has WiFi access and good
parking, and you get to watch cable instead of an infuriating RNews loop. Obviously, the management of this joint gives a
damn, which is nice to see. Inefficiency be damned!

<byline2>— Saby Reyes-Kulkarni

Best way to assuage
middle-class guilt

Donate your old
kitchen to ReStore

I probably shouldn’t
have spent a crapload of money getting my kitchen
redone last spring, but like lots of women my age, I
went and did it anyway. (What is it about peri-menopausal
women that makes us want to redo our kitchens? There’s
got to be a doctoral thesis in there somewhere.) If you succumb to your base
urges and rip the innards out of your kitchen just because you can, call ReStore to see if they can use your old cabinets,
countertop, sink and appliances. They might even be able to pick up your
donation.

            Located in the Public Market and run
by Flower City Habitat for Humanity, ReStore sells
quality used and surplus building materials to the public at a fraction of
regular retail prices. Proceeds are used to fund new Habitat houses.

            Not only does your donation help
people out, it keeps perfectly serviceable stuff out of landfills. I bet you
feel better about yourself already. But wait, there’s more: donations are
tax-deductible, too. Just remember to donate to ReStore again when you squander your tax refund on a
new bathroom. For more info check www.rochesterhabitat.org
or call 697-2012. (Linda Kostin)

Best (albeit most
nefarious) use of the airwaves

Billy Fuccillo

We all have various
commercials that we hate yet can’t help but watch, though I think we’re all in
agreement about the ad campaign of Billy Fuccillo,
the Central New York car dealer who, along with henchman Tom Park, has recently
turned commercial breaks into Must Leave TV. You know who I’m talking about.
Sometimes he’s clutching an oversized phone number, sometimes he’s riding a Segway (and nothing screams “I’m in touch with the people”
quite like a useless luxury item), but Fuccillo
always ends his commercials with a promise that things are going to be huge —
uh, I mean “heeeuuuuwww-jah.” I don’t know whether
these irritating and ubiquitous ads have translated into actual sales, but if
saturation and name recognition count for anything, then the guy’s doing
something right. But I pray nightly that his catchphrase doesn’t seep into our lexicon
and bastardize the rest of it: the last thing I want to hear is someone bellow, “Hey, Dayna, that dress is
so keeeuuuwww-tah!” (DaynaPapaleo)

Best local political blog

Rochesterturning.com

This year’s
elections, particularly the congressional midterms, have launched the most
impressive crop of political bloggers we’ve yet seen
in the Rochester area. But there’s one that stands out above the rest:
Rochesterturning.com is a progressive blog that’s
group-written, which may explain why it’s the most frequently updated blog around. And not only do the bloggers
keep their content fresh, they often scoop the big mainstream media outlets.
It’s a sign of their presence in the local races that the bloggers’
e-mails show up on official media blast lists of some of the campaigns from
time to time. Plus, they do it all with a clean, eye-catching design.

            So if you’re listening Rochesterturning, we like you. Even when you think we’re
“losers” and our analysis is “idiotic.” (Krestia DeGeorge)

Best pyrrhic
political victory

Bob Colby and Ciaran Hanna

If you’re a Democrat
in this town it can be a little tough to tow the party line sometimes.
Loyalties and power are always shifting among the different players.
Republicans, meanwhile, have the opposite problem. The last time a Republican
broke ranks and criticized another in public was… well… we can’t remember the
last time. That’s why it was so surprising when GOP County Legislators Bob
Colby and Ciaran Hanna crossed the metaphorical aisle
to vote with their Democratic colleagues against a bill to move the budget
submission date until after elections. The vote still passed — barely. For
their troubles, the pair was stripped of committee assignments a few days
later. (Krestia
DeGeorge)

Best local hero

Delaine Cook-Greene,
Coalition of Northeast Association, Inc.

Police officers go to
her for suggestions. NET officers rely on her, too. Whether she’s walking door
to door listening to her neighbors’ concerns, in her office helping someone
find housing, or making sure a young person has shoes and socks, Delaine Cook-Greene
has earned the respect of so many people in the community that she is often
referred to as the “mother of the northeast.” She says she moved here from New York City about 40 years ago, and fell in love with Rochester.

            “It was so beautiful, serene and
comfortable, I had never seen anything like it before,” says Cook-Greene. “We
used to sit on our front porches, we looked out for one another, and we were
neighbors back then. It was so safe and friendly, no one even thought of
locking their doors.”

            Cook-Greene has been involved in
CONEA for more than 10 years. Last year, the organization helped more than 100
people with housing, referred more than 300 to the appropriate agency for
assistance, and worked with more than 200 children on everything from clothing
to homework to field trips to Albany.

            She says her biggest concern is the
high school dropout rate, and finding ways to keep young people in school.

            “We must do everything in our power
to help our young people stay in school and prepare for college,” she says.
“They need to inherit the values that place priority on education because
without an education they are not going to survive.” (Tim Louis Macaluso)

Best urban de-tarping

The new roof at Nick Tahou’s

You don’t have to be
an old-train lover or an ardent preservationist to applaud Nick Tahou’s for its impressive new roof. The job can’t have
been cheap, and it’s doing far more than providing shelter. The building’s the
oldest surviving passenger depot in Rochester, and it’s a beautiful landmark, highly visible to people
coming into the city from the west. (Mary Anna Towler)

Best example of
political backscratching

John Stanwix’s big pay raise

Yagotta love the way Monroe County
Republican leaders take care of their own. Former
Republican Party Chair John Stanwix got a sweet deal
heading the Monroe County Water Authority: raises amounting to nearly 45
percent in his last three years on the job. And two buddies on the Water
Authority board — big Republican donor Peter Formicola
and former Chamber of Commerce exec Tom Mooney — capped it off with a nice
going-away present when Stanwix retired four years
ago, at the age of 60. Unearned vacation pay, unearned sick leave, a nice
lump-sum payment: it was enough, according to a state audit, to ramp up his
state pension by 25 percent. (Mary Anna Towler)

Best ballot stuffer

You know who you are

We had a couple of
notable ballot stuffers this year — a diner, a spa, a hair salon — but we
were especially taken aback by the hardcore campaigning by the folks at one
health-minded business. Not only did the ownership send out e-mails encouraging
people to vote in multiple categories, but it also encouraged them to vote
multiple times and under multiple names. Ain’t
democracy grand?

            To be fair, this isn’t entirely the
ballot-stuffing businesses’ fault. A competitor timed its pale imitation of
Best Of (Best Bus Route! Best Driveway Pavement Company! Wow!) to
coincide almost simultaneously with our polling, and encouraged local
businesses to campaign as hard as they wanted.

            We don’t play that. You want to win
Best Of, play fair. You can encourage people to vote for your business, sure.
But when you send dozens of ballots in for them, when you encourage them to
vote only for your business and not bother to fill out any other categories,
and when you encourage them to create fake aliases on your behalf, well, that’s
not cool. And it’s pretty easy to spot. And those votes won’t be counted at
all.

            Better luck next year! (Eric Rezsnyak)

This article appears in Nov 8-14, 2006.