If the Boston Red Sox
win the World Series, they will have solved the Curse of the Bambino. And they
will be world champions for the first time since 1918. Think about that: The
tiny little city of Boston, the 563rd largest city on Earth, champions of the
world! It would be an even greater upset if St. Louis won, because it’s not
even among the world’s 680 most populous cities.

The top 10 cities —
Shanghai, Bombay, Buenos Aires, Moscow, Karachi, Delhi, Manila, São Paulo,
Seoul, and Istanbul — have never even made the World Series during Major
League Baseball’s 101-year history. In fact, just 11 cities on that 680-city
list have won. How pathetic is that? This is the World Series, after all.
Evidently, 669 of the world’s largest cities just stink at baseball.

The United States has 10 cities on the list that have won a World Series. An astounding 97 out of the
99 World Series winners are from the US, and it’ll be 98 out of 100 after this
year. Obviously, we totally crank at baseball. The next time Shanghai plays the
Yankees, I’m going to rip that team for being so pitiful. Shanghai’s television
market is nearly double New York’s, but the Yankees, representing just the 16th
largest city, are superior to Shanghai in every way. They’ve won 26 World
Series to Shanghai’s zero.

And look at how badly
Boston wants it. During Game 6 against New York in the American League
Championship Series, pitcher Curt Schilling played on a torn right tendon
surgically attached to his ankle. He bled on the mound in a gutsy performance
that rivaled Kerri Strug, who nailed a vault on a badly sprained left ankle to
secure the first-ever Olympic gold medal for the US women’s gymnastics team in
1996.

Schilling gave up one
run in seven innings as Boston won 4-2, en route to the come-from-behind ALCS
shocker that elevated the Red Sox to the World Series and sent the Yankees
home, a symbol of choking disgust. Incidentally, their choke was much worse
than former Bills kicker Scott Norwood’s alleged choke in Super Bowl XXV.
Norwood had to make a 47-yard kick on grass for the win over the Giants. NFL
kickers this year have missed field goals between 40 and 49 yards more than 30
percent of the time. No one in baseball ever blew a 3-0 playoff series lead
until the Yankees did.

But back to
Schilling. The veteran pitcher and former Red Wing could teach a thing or two
to a team such as Shanghai. Schilling won Game 2 of the World Series with his
bum ankle on Sunday. I’ve never seen that kind of determination from Shanghai
ever. Heck, I’ve never seen Shanghai. Where’s it been all these years?

It’s laughable that American fans, media, and sports leagues bestow the title of “world
champions” to their winners when the world is not well-represented in many of
those sports. It’s indicative of US arrogance and ethnocentrism. In reality,
the only sport that offers a true world championship is soccer’s World Cup
every four years.

Major League Baseball
calls its championship the “World Series” because, presumably, the entire world
has an interest. The NBA Finals winner is often called the “world champion”
even though the US is no longer Earth’s most dominant basketball country. The
NFL’s Super Bowl champions are frequently referred to as world champions even
though American-style football is established in just the United States and
Canada.

Americans certainly have high opinions of their major pro
sports. Amusingly, Canadians created the National Hockey League, and the NHL’s
top team is almost always referred to as the Stanley Cup champion and never the
“world champion.” Canadians are seemingly more sensitive to the pompous
declarations we often make here in the states.

As for the World Series and the world’s interest in it, I went to websites of English newspapers in
each of the top-10 cities and found little evidence that those places cared
much about the games. There were a lot of stories about cricket, soccer, golf,
tennis, auto racing (not NASCAR), basketball, even chess, but little mention of
baseball. It definitely wasn’t the top story in any of those newspapers.

Well, many Americans
must feel those people have to get their heads screwed on straight. Really,
what’s wrong with them? We’re trying to crown someone world champion and there’s
hardly anyone paying attention outside the Americas. Perhaps singing “God Bless
America” during every seventh-inning stretch is offensive and is turning the
rest of the world’s hearts and minds right off. I don’t know.

What’s clear is that
our world champions are getting ripped off.

This article appears in Oct 27 – Nov 2, 2004.