Believe
it or not, there are still a few sacred cows roaming Hollywood pastures,
subjects that are not yet (and may never be) eligible for mockery. The
Holocaust immediately springs to mind, as does 9/11, and the aftermath of
Hurricane Katrina will most likely make that list. And it’s usually
inappropriate to make light of the mentally and physically challenged (the
visually impaired seem to be fair game, for some odd reason), so I can almost
hear the jaws dropping during this pitch meeting:
“Yeah, so it’s called The Ringer, and it’s
about a guy who pretends to be retarded so he can compete in the Special
Olympics! And we want Johnny Knoxville to play the
guy! Ooh, let’s release it at Christmastime!”
Executive-produced
by the Farrelly brothers (There’s Something About Mary), who know a thing or two about
navigating the tightrope of taste, The
Ringer follows Steve (Knoxville, stifling his abundant charisma), a
cubicle-dwelling shlub who, through a ridiculous
series of events, finds himself the linchpin in a get-rich-quick scheme.
Steve’s slimy uncle Gary — portrayed by the
indispensable Brian Cox (Rushmore)
— bullies Steve into using his opportune acting and track backgrounds to rig
the Special Olympics, which, also serendipitously, is just about to begin.
So
Steve becomes the developmentally disabled Jeffy (I
can’t tell you his last name — it’s the funniest bit in the movie) and moves
into the athletes’ village, where it takes very little time for his competitors
to spot the flim-flam. They don’t rat him out,
however, as they would like to see cocky perennial champ Jimmy — described by
the knuckle-dragging Uncle Gary as “the Deion Sanders
of retards” — taken down a peg. Of course, there’s a girl (Katherine Heigl, from Grey’s
Anatomy), and of course, Jeffy/Steve’s Special
Olympian friends, played by a combination of professional and nonprofessional
actors, teach him a couple of life lessons and put him on the
straight-and-narrow.
To
the credit of writer Ricky Blitt (The Family Guy) and director Barry W. Blaustein (the wrestling documentary Beyond the Mat), the disabled characters don’t come off as
one-dimensional saints; to be honest, a couple of them are real jerks. But the
rest of the clichรยรยฉ-riddled — though
inoffensive — The Ringer plays out
exactly as you would expect (if you’ve given it any thought at all), with the
notable exceptions of a dreadful priest and the surprising State of Texas,
which is apparently a magical land where rednecks and goombahs
huddle together in bars to watch the Special Olympics.
My
little sister got put through The Ringer with me — as far as the audience went, we were it — and I heard her mutter
something about the film being “wrong on so many levels.” But The Ringer received the stamp of
approval from the Special Olympics, with honcho Tim Shriver getting an
executive producer credit. Perhaps Mr. Shriver can next do something about the
condescending name of his organization: The phrase “Special Olympics” is even
more simplistic than this movie.
2006 lurks just over the
horizon, so it’s not too early to plan your moviegoing
budget for the coming year. Here are a few films that might be worth socking
away for, as well as their tentative release dates:
The Da Vinci Code: It will probably take you more time
to watch the movie than it did to read the runaway bestseller about the
modern-day fallout from the possible coupling of Jesus Christ and Mary
Magdalene. The brand-new trailer looks great, and I have to admit that Tom
Hanks actually comes across rather sexy (5/06).
Miami Vice: Colin Farrell plays Crockett and Jamie Foxx plays Tubbs in
filmmaker Michael Mann’s big-screen version of the classic ’80s TV show. Its
probable popularity does not mean, however, that you should get your pastel
suits out of mothballs (7/06).
Pirates of the
Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest: Johnny Depp
revisits his Oscar-nominated role as Captain Jack Sparrow in a possibly
unnecessary but nonetheless welcome sequel to 2003’s box-office juggernaut
(7/06).
The Departed: Martin
Scorsese anglicizes the exciting Hong Kong crime drama Infernal Affairs using Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen, and Ray
Winstone to tell the tale of a Boston cop who
infiltrates the Irish mob (8/06).
Casino Royale: Daniel Craig (Layer
Cake) shoulders the mantle of James Bond, marking the first time Bond has
been blond, as well as the first time I may actually want to see a Bond flick
(11/06).
The
Ringer (PG-13),
directed by Barry W. Blaustein, is playing at
Canandaigua Theatres and Henrietta 18.
This article appears in Dec 28, 2005 โ Jan 3, 2006.
