Madden on your back
“Playing
Madden is like injecting a shot of happiness directly in my veins. And the cost
of decreased hygiene and damaged social skills is totally worth it to me.”
The
inexplicable joy videogames afford their greatest devotees has nothing on
Madden. The testimonial above, a random sample of Madden-related Internet
postings, only begins to explain the phenomenon. For those who’ve been in its
clutches — victim to the overwhelming confluence of NFL football, virtual
hyperrealism, and off-season withdrawal — the game’s appeal and culture can
be captured in two syllables: Madden. Typically spoken with a glassy-eyed
reverence. There’s no need for explanation.
In
the unlikely event you’ve got no idea what we’re talking about, here’s a brief
summary: EA Sports launched its Madden series of videogames in 1989. It was
initially compatible only with PCs, but before long was appearing on almost
every home videogame console on the market. By 1993, EA struck a licensing
arrangement with the NFL that allowed the franchise to capture the likeness —
and debatable skills — of the league’s rosters. And the namesake, in case
you’re wondering, is John Madden: the NFL coach-turned-commentator known for
his girth and fear of flying.
Madden
reverence goes way beyond your living room. True players have made decent
livings touring around and competing in Madden tournaments for big money.
Websites like MaddenWorldSyndicate.com profile accomplished virtual ballers
with names like Big Gene and T-Roy. Articles debate the relative merits of the
juke glitch, quarterback draws, no fatigue, and rocket catching.
Madden
gets re-released every year in early August, right around the time when NFL
junkies are jonesing hardest for the upcoming season. The game has faced
criticism for the meager updates and improvements it showcases every year, but
EA Sports understands the addict’s mentality: If you want your team’s latest
roster, complete with draft picks and recent free-agent signings, you’d better
drop $49.99 or get real creative with last year’s create-a-player mode and
trade functions. (Yeah, we’ve been there.)
The
annual Madden release also coincides with NFL training camps. And don’t think
the real-life players aren’t among the first in line to snag a copy. Why else
would they be carrying such huge TVs into their dorm rooms? And we can only
imagine the ribbing that occurs when a player’s virtual likeness is given the
shaft.
Take
reserve Bills tight-end Ryan Neufeld, for instance. Sure, he’s basically a slow
utility player who comes in handy when the starters go down. But that’s no
reason to give the poor guy a meager 17 (out of 100) player rating. OK, OK, so
EA opted to have Neufeld start the season with some sort of injury — probably
an ankle tweak — that will keep him out for the first couple of games. But
the fact is that Neufeld’s perfectly healthy. We saw him just the other week
working out with his teammates at St. John Fisher. The bruises on his ego were
barely visible.
Perhaps
the most amusing Madden phenomenon has absolutely nothing to do with game or
the geeks who play it. It’s the hatred developed in people whose mates are
hopeless addicts. They deserve a voice, too. There are several sites dedicated
to Madden hatred. Our fave is www.maddenwidow.blogspot.com, mainly because of
its host’s seething indignation. Feel the love: “My husband does nothing but play this Madden football video game all day
long and it drives me nuts. I can’t take it any more and I feel like I need to
get this off my chest. I’ll post my thoughts here and some ridiculous stories
about my husband and his idiot friends who he plays Madden with. If you have
any comments, email me at MaddenMustGo@aol.com”
Poor thing.
— Chad Oliveiri
This article appears in Aug 31 – Sep 6, 2005.
