And then there were nine. “RuPaul’s
Drag Race” started last night after Mrs. Kasha Davis’s departure. Kandy Ho made
a comment about the judges putting her in the bottom two so she can take out
the older queens. Kandy? Let’s have some real talk: The reason you’ve been in
the bottom two twice now is because you haven’t demonstrated that you’re a
viable contender in this race, and you’ve been skating by on group challenges
where you can fade into the background. I’m over you, Kandy.
Ru came in to announce this week’s Mini Challenge, Monster
in Your Pants. The Pit Crew for this week has quadrupled in size, but the size
of their underwear seems to have shrunk. Each member of the pit crew had a
number tucked into their tiny, tiny shorts, and the goal was for each queen to
choose members of the crew to try to rack up as many points as possible all
while trying to avoid the pit crew member that has the monster in his pants, an
automatic loss. Apparently there was only one member of the pit crew that had
the monster in his pants, but hilariously, EVERYONE chose that person — with
the exception of Ginger Minj, the winner of the
challenge with 24 points.
As the winner, Ginger got to choose her teammates and assign
the other teams for the Maxi Challenge, #Ru’sHollywoodStories:
“Whatever happened to Merle Ginsberg?” For those unfamiliar with Merle, she sat
alongside Ru as a judge in the first two seasons of “Drag Race” but was
replaced by Michelle Visage. Each team was tasked with reenacting versions of
what actually happened, with each team assigned the perspective of either Ru,
Merle, or Michelle.
Team 1: Ginger, Kennedy Davenport, and Katya (Merle’s
perspective)
Team 2: Max, Violet Chachki, and
Kandy Ho (Michelle’s perspective)
Team 3: Miss Fame, Jaidynn Diore Fierce, and Pearl (Ru’s perspective)
Jaidynn took this week’s challenge
*seriously*, while Violet was over these acting challenges. You’re on “Drag
Race,” Violet, suck it up. This week’s episode confirmed my feelings of being
over everyone except for Ginger and Katya. I like Max but I don’t think she’s
got what it takes to win this — the grey-hair, old Hollywood thing is getting
tired.
Katya explained Ginger Minj’s
portrayal of Michelle Visage as “Danny DeVito as Tony Soprano as The Fonze as Michelle Visage,” and I COULDN’T WAIT.
Ross Matthews was sitting in the director’s chair for #Ru’sHollywoodStories this week. Ginger’s team was on point, except Kennedy’s
version of Ru Paul was just…strange. Kandy Ho contoured herself a beard again
to play Ru, and Miss Fame decided to be the dramatic one this week. You see,
Miss Fame is having a bad day! *Pout* She knows she can do better than this and
is it SO WRONG for her to explore her feelings?! Next!
Elimination Day came and all the ladies were prepping for
the runway. Jaidynn revealed to the group that she
has not officially come out to her family — they know that she does drag, but
chooses to ignore it. She has a real fear of being disowned and doesn’t want to
live without her family … and by that point I was crying. You’ve warmed my
cold, cold heart, Jaidynn.
The runway challenge for this week was “Death Becomes Her:
How would your drag character die?” The guest judges for this week were Merle
Ginsberg and Ariana Grande (singer, human ponytail).
The runway this week was pretty great. Katya had a shark leg
(WINNING); Ginger was eaten by a bear; Kennedy — I don’t know what the hell
Kennedy was. She described it as “after her night of hooking she got in the
fire and crystallized.”
Max cut out her heart, Kandy Ho was a sexy vampire (yawn),
Miss Fame had a knife through her head, and Jaidynn
got caught in some barbed wire after a prison break. But the *gasp* moment for
the night was Violet’s ridiculously tiny, corseted waist.
The judges then watched each #Ru’sHollywoodStories,
and Ginger’s team nailed it. All I can remember from Max’s team was Kandy Ho’s
beard and Jaidynn’s team featured drag queen
(erotic?) Jell-O wrestling. Team Ginger won it, with Katya pronounced the
winner and Ginger and Kennedy declared safe. Michelle Visage is over Max’s grey
hair and had an issue with Violet’s portrayal of her accent, “I’m not from
Staten Island.” Ru told Miss Fame to learn how to listen and gave kudos to
Pearl for finally waking up. The judges were not impressed with Jaidynn’s prison break outfit or her acting. But Max, Pearl,
Violet and Miss Fame were safe.
Kandy Ho and Jaidynn were up for
elimination, lip-syncing to Ariana Grande’s “Break Free.” Both queens were
giving it their all, but in the end it was time to say goodbye to Kandy Ho and
her beard. Bye Kandy! Sorry, not sorry to see you go.
Next week: Snatch Game!
This article appears in Apr 8-14, 2015.
