We knew it was happening. We knew someone was coming back. I
was taking bets all week that it was Trixie — I think many Drag Race viewers
were thinking that. It would be her chance for redemption. She was the obvious choice.
It clearly wasn’t going to be Kandy Ho; as Katya said, “She can’t lip-sync four
times.” We were all wrong, guys. We were all wrong.
RuPaul came out to announce the
mini-challenge and announced she had a special guest. Is this it? Do we find
out now? Out walked Latrice Royale, Season 4 alum, dressed in a prison guard’s
uniform, for the mini-challenge, Orange is the New Drag. Each queen was given a
prison uniform to “drag up” and could only use items from the commissary for
the Tuckahoe Prison Fashion Show. Drag queen walkin’!
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Chola makeup and tampon earrings
were all the rage for this fashion show. Katya definitely will visit me in my
nightmares at some point this season with her tiger-printed face mask and
colored teeth. Kennedy Davenport was announced the winner with a fierce side
ponytail.
It was time, you guys: Someone was back. A door opened. And
it was Trixie! Another door opened: it was Tempest DuJour! Another door opened:
it was Kandy Ho! Kandy Ho? What was happening? How many doors were in this
room? The eliminated queens kept coming out until EVERYONE WAS BACK.
RuPaul announced the
maxi-challenge: Each contestant would be paired with an eliminated queen and had
to make her over as her twin … her conjoined twin. #ConjoinedQueens.
Because Kennedy won the mini-challenge, she got to pick her eliminated queen
first and she got to pair up everyone else. The eliminated queen in the pair
that won the maxi-challenge got to stay. Kennedy picked Jasmine Masters (duh)
and then paired up everyone else. The teams were:
Ginger Minj and Sasha Belle (Oh
God. Do you remember her?)
Pearl and Trixie Mattel
Miss Fame and Kandy Ho
Katya and Mrs. Kasha Davis
Violet Chachki and Max
Jaidynn Diore
Fierce and Tempest DuJour
Ginger was not happy with her partner and it stressed her
out for most of the episode. First off, neither of them had strong sewing
skills so making their outfits was a challenge, and second, Sasha just wandered
around the workroom talking to people the entire time, leaving Ginger to do
most of the work. Ginger was frustrated; I was frustrated; we were all
frustrated.
Pearl and Trixie were happy with their partnership and
Trixie was ready to go for the gold with the funny. Katya and Mrs. Kasha Davis
decided they were going to be aging hookers from Atlantic City that were joined
at the vagina and I nearly wept from happiness.
We learned more about the contestant’s backgrounds while
they were doing each other’s make-up for the challenge. Tempest DuJour revealed
to the group that he went through conversion therapy to please his devout
Mormon mother — but it didn’t take. Trixie talked about her abusive step-father
that would call her a “trixie” anytime she acted
effeminate, so she decided to embrace the name, use it as her drag name, and turn
it into something positive. *Tears*
Runway time! The judges for the night were Michelle Visage,
Ross Matthews, Nelsan Ellis (Lafayette from “True
Blood,” I love him!) and LeAnn Rimes (was everyone else busy?)
Miss Fame and Kandy Ho came out as surgical sisters, sewn together
via plastic surgery. Jaidynn and Tempest were disco
divas joined at Jaidynn’s back and Tempest’s front. Kennedy
and Jasmine were pageant queens joined at the … thigh? (I couldn’t tell.) Pearl
and Trixie were contestants in a beauty pageant, with Pearl being the pretty
one and Trixie being the “special one.” Violet and Max served carnival
realness, joined at the corset. Sasha and Ginger came out joined at the breast
in hot pink spandex. Last, but certainly not least, Katya and Kasha came out
leather skinned, spiky haired, and joined at the vag.
The judges weren’t impressed with Miss Fame and Kandy Ho.
Michelle thought it was uncreative and RuPaul thought
it was safe. Jaidynn and Tempest were not a favorite
either: Ross thought they just didn’t stack up compared to the others. Michelle
thought Kennedy and Jasmine’s concept was predictable because they both were
fashion queens; she wanted them to go over the top.
Nelsan thought Pearl and Trixie
were stunning, and Ross added that he thought they were the best storytellers.
Everyone was cracking up. Everyone agreed that Violet and Max were gorgeous.
Michelle loved the idea behind Ginger and Sasha’s joined-at-the-breast costume,
but she was not crazy about the execution. There was glue showing on the outfit
and LeAnn wanted the breasts to look more realistic. Everyone loved Katya and
Kasha — including me.
Would it be Pearl and Trixie or Katya and Kasha?
Pearl was the winner, which meant that Trixie stayed!
Katya, Kennedy, Violet and Miss Fame were safe, but Jaidynn and Ginger were up for elimination. And they would
have to lip-sync with the other person attached to them to “I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tiffany. (It’s too bad that I wasn’t a
consultant on this show or I could have taught them the coordinated dance moves
to this song that I used to do on my porch as a child … and as an adult.)
The lip-sync was absolutely entertaining.
Ginger went for it: She ripped off her clothes and fake breasts and rolled
around on the floor. And everyone on the panel was laughing hysterically.
Ginger Minj stayed, Jaidynn sashayed away.
Next week: Trixie is back as a contestant!
This article appears in Apr 22-28, 2015.
