Inbox 5.25.05 

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Roommates don't always get along. Note the final tag, which is automatically attached to every email this person sends. Watch out below, there's some coarse language. Send your fever-pitched rants and raves to [email protected]. For background on Inbox and previous columns, go to www.rochester-citynews.com.

From: Helen

To: katrina , ange ,liza , emmay ,jess , joel ,keira , lily ,rafeena

Subject: fucking male housemates

Date: Sat, 9 Nov 2002  

 

dear two male housemates of mine,

 

when you clean up mouse shit off the kitchen counter, please DON'T:

-use the sponge we use to wash dishes to pick up the shit.

-dump the shit into the kitchen sink, especially when there are dishes still in

the sink.

-leave the shit floating on top of the dish that is in the sink without even

washing it down (it's bad enough that you don't put the shit in the garbage and

use the sink instead but at least wash those little fuckers down!).

-put the sponge that you just used to pick up the shit back by the side of the

sink for us to wash dishes with later.

-'forget' to wipe down the counter and disinfect it afterwards, especially when

it's a surface we sometimes use to cut food on.

-forget that the mice roaming in people's homes carry all sorts of diseases,

especially in their shit.

-do such a stupid and pathetic job at 'cleaning up' the shit that your

housemate who watched you in disbelief had to fill in your missing steps, as

well as toss the dirty sponge in the garbage.

 

also...

 

dear one male housemate of mine,

 

this is the minimum that you should do when cleaning the bathroom:

-using the scouring pad side of a sponge and some cleaner and water, scrub the

scum off the sink.. sink should be shiny once all scum is removed. wipe

counters and mirror clean.

-using toilet brush and cleaner, scrub inside of toilet bowl. flush. using

sponge, clean lid and seat including the undersides.

-scrub bathtub until all scum is off and tub is clean and shiny. don't forget

to also clean the edges of the tub.

 

dear unwanted mice housemates,

 

-stay off our fucking kitchen counter.

-kindly stop being so smart and crawl into our live traps so we can get rid of

you already.

 

--

"Sadness can be a beginning, not an end, to our politics. . . Mourning can be a

powerful response to moments that confirm our worst feelings about the world,

and connecting our sorrow to the world's sorrow can keep our hearts alive when

they beat too fast from fear, or too slowly from apathy." --Craig Willse