MTV started out as just a torrent of music videos, directed
only slightly by pioneering VJs like Martha Quinn and
Alan Hunter (remember Alan Hunter? Sigh…). But smart execs realized that
eyeballs would tune in more often if they had specific programming to watch at
specific times, and voila! MTV became a bona fide network. Here are a few
highlights (and lowlights) of MTV’s original shows. For everyone who complains
that there’s no actual music on MTV, these guys are pretty much to blame.

Remote Control(1987-1990)

A game show for the MTV crowd, Remote Control featured young contestants trying to win prizes by
answering TV-related questions while chillin’ in
pimped-out La-Z-Boys. When contestants were eliminated the chairs would “smash”
through the back wall, which, to impressionable 9-year-old minds, was pretty
cool. Smartass host Ken Ober was aided by future Saturday Night Live castmember
Colin Quinn, B-movie starlet Kari Wuhrer, and even
pre-famous Denis Leary and Adam Sandler. MTV would
try other game shows like the popular Dating
Game-inspired Singled Out and
underrated Jeopardy-liteIdiot Savants,
but would never match the unbridled creativity or inanity of the beloved Control.

Unplugged (1989-2005)

One of the few MTV shows to actually focus on music, Unplugged featured
artists performing acoustic sets in front of a small audience in an informal,
intimate setting. The talent net was cast wide, catching rockers Aerosmith and KISS, modern-day troubadours like Bruce
Springsteen, and even R&B superstars like Mariah Carey. Several of the
shows are considered defining moments in the artists’ careers, including
Nirvana’s 1993 episode, and Lauryn Hill, whose
bizarre 2002 appearance marked her “comeback” after her multi-platinum debut
album. Although no longer a regular series, Unplugged is brought back occasionally as a special, as it was in 2005 for Alicia Keys.

The Real World(1992-present)

Arguably MTV’s greatest contribution to the television
landscape is this prototypical reality show, in which seven strangers are
picked to live together in a posh pad and taped 24/7 to find out what happens
when people “stop being polite, and start getting real.” In the early seasons
that’s exactly what happened. Through their interactions the roommates explored
serious issues like racism, sexism, homophobia, and the general angst of being
a 20something. Unfortunately, as competitive reality TV like Survivor and American Idol upped the ante, the show has mostly nosedived into
salacious mediocrity. The casts are prettier, drunker, and a lot more likely to
“accidentally” get into the threeways. Why not just
watch Girls Gone Wild?

Beavis and Butt-Head (1993-1997)

Hehheh.Heh. Beavis and Butt-Head
are a couple of ostensibly mentally challenged slackers whose lives revolve
around 1) watching bad music videos; 2) seeing/touching boobies; 3)
masturbating; 4) setting things on fire. The crude animation made early seasons
of The Simpsonslook like Fantasia. The
meandering stories accomplished nothing. Ultimately there was very little of
redeeming value to be found in Beavis and
Butt-Head, which is why it was so quintessentially of its time (*cough*
slackers *cough*). Paradoxically, creator Mike Judge went on to do one of the
most sweet-natured cartoons ever, Fox’s King
of the Hill.

Next (2005-present)

Next is symbolic
of MTV’s current slate of programming: insipid, disposable dating/reality shows
designed to amuse the teen crowd for a half-hour at a time. In Next five single people are bussed in to
meet and go out on a date with a selected random Barney/Betty. Said person then
decides when he/she gets tired of a bus date and says “Next,” at which point
the next cattle, er, person in line heads out. The humiliation
all parties subject themselves through makes my head and heart hurt — are
teenagers/20somethings this desperate for 10 minutes on television? Apparently,
as Next‘s schedule mates — Date My Mom, Parental Control, Room Raiders,
the infuriating My Super Sweet 16 among them — all champion shallowness and vapidity above all else. I weep for
the future of our nation, and MTV. You’re 25 years old now. Act like it.

This article appears in Jul 26 – Aug 1, 2006.