Thursday, June 4, 2015

"RuPaul's Drag Race" Season 7, Episode 14: Grand Finale

Posted By on Thu, Jun 4, 2015 at 4:00 AM

We've been through a lot to get to this point: the highs were high, the lows were low, and the shade was shady. Was there crying? So much. Were there men in unicorn pajamas? Of course. Was Miley Cyrus there? Girl, she was. Coming live from the Orpheum Theatre in Los Angeles, RuPaul's Drag Race finally crowned a winner.

Vying for a cash prize of $100,000 and a year's supply of Anastasia cosmetics were Ginger Minj, Violet Chachki, and Pearl. The audience was full of ghosts of RuPaul's Drag Race past as well as Michelle Visage, Ross Matthews, and Carson Kresley. Was anyone else feeling the Statler and Waldorf vibes that Ross and Carson were putting out Monday night? All I could think of was this. Spinoff? I'm just saying...

Miss Ru announced that she had not made her final decision yet and that her final judgment would be based on the lip-sync performances of the three queens, each with a song that had been created especially for them.

Who was up first? Miss Minj of course, performing a gospel number, "Ain't no way to pray the gay away." There were choir gowns, there was high energy, our favorite glamour toad really gave it her all. Michelle, Ross, and Carson weren't really critiquing anything last night -- just telling each queen how much they enjoyed them.After each performance, Ru showed the audience a video compilation of their best moments from Season 7, followed by words of congratulations from friends and family (also known as "ugly cry time").

In Ginger's congratulatory compilation, we saw her mom and HER DAD! Let the healing begin -- "He wants some of that money," my friend Kate said.

"Everyone's favorite sleepwalker," Pearl, was up next performing a song called "Queen of Your Dreams." Get it? Cause she was asleep for half the season. The performance was alright, not as high energy as Ginger's, but it is Pearl we're talking about.

The former contestants in the audience read viewer questions and comments after each performance. Did you guys know that everyone wants to f&*k Pearl? Cause everyone wants to f&*k Pearl. I think I might want to f&*k Pearl. There was also a hilarious video about the "Curse of Pearl" -- any one queen that crossed her this season ended up going home.

Violet Chachki was up with a burlesque number, "Too Many Daddies and Not Enough Time." Guys? She killed it. It was sexy, there were tassels, I was just waiting for Cher to walk out and call for Wagon Wheel Watusi.

After each of the final queens performed, the queens that were sent home came out for a Q&A with Ru. We found out that Jasmine was bullied on social media but then Patti LaBelle came through with a recorded message for Jasmine and everything was right in the world again. Our hometown sister Mrs. Kasha Davis was there, along with Mr. Davis! Jaidynn finally came out to her family! Katya wants to shove Ru's wig in her mouth and have Ru pee on her! I LOVE YOU, KATYA. Miss Fame brought a chicken on stage. Kennedy's mom was in the audience and her name is Chicory.

It was time to announce the winner of Miss Congeniality ... and of course it was Katya. I'm definitely planning a trip to Boston so I can see this bitch in person.

Bianca Del Rio, last year's winner, came out to crown the winner of Season 7: Violet Chachki! I knew it was coming. And honestly, I wasn't that mad about it. Violet grew on me as the season wore on. The only thing I hated to look at was the disappointment on Minj's face. Love you, Ginger!

By the way, all three queens released their singles on Facebook during the finale and they are all horrible. Thanks for spending this season with me! Byeeeee.

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