A good bar, the type I like to go to, should be a third place. It’s where you celebrate wins, drown sorrows and everything in between. Bars are such interesting spaces — at the end of the day, they are businesses, but can feel like an extension of home. And just like every house has its own rules, there are a few tips and tricks for guests who really want to fit in and have the best experience possible (at least, when you’re at Leonore’s, where I manage the bar).
1. Friends don’t let friends be…
And from the moment you walk in, that’s what you and I are: friends. I might be at work, but I’m a person, too. When someone sits at the bar, I love it when they respond to my greeting with, “Great! How are you?” instead of responding with their drink order.
I want to know about the great soup you made for dinner last night, your new job, your recent engagement; and I can’t wait to meet the friend that’s coming to visit for the first time since you moved, or the second date that you hope goes really well.
Community is built in small moments, and I’ll lock away all the little details you share with me and save them for the next time you come sit with me (instead of sitting at a table).
Tl;dr — if you treat me like a person, I’ll treat you like one, too.
2. You’re setting the tone, I’m meeting you there
Being a bar guest is all about give and take. How much of yourself are you willing to offer, and how much of myself am I willing to give in return?
If you’re looking to make a new friend, or get some relationship advice or debate the best brand of store bought hamburger buns, I’m so down. If not, that’s fine, too!
My go-to icebreaker is asking guests for their Peach, Pit & Papaya (something good, something bad and something unexpected that has happened to them that day or week). It’s a fun, low stakes way to get to know the minutiae of someone’s life while allowing them to keep you at arm’s length if they want.
Tl;dr — make eye contact, be present and the conversation will flow from there.
3. Patience is a virtue
There’s this thing at a restaurant called the service well — it’s where the bartender making drinks for the entire restaurant is stationed. Sometimes, though, that person is also the one helping the bar guests, which involves a lot of creative timing.
Every guest drinking or dining is equally important, but unfortunately there is a line sometimes. Just because you’re sitting at the bar doesn’t mean that you get to skip ahead.
The kindest thing you can do when a bartender says, “I’ll be with you in just a minute,” is reply to the effect of, “No worries, I can see you’re busy,” especially if it’s obvious they have a massive queue of drink tickets.
When I was little, my grandma would always say, “Patience is a virtue,” and though simple, it’s potentially the best advice I’ve ever been given. Patience translates into every aspect of restaurant work, but when executed, allows magic to happen.
Tl;dr — I see you, and I’ll get to you as soon as I can!
4. Know what you want
I want to make you a drink you’ll like. I actually crave that. I love to be creative and pair unexpected things, to expose guests to new spirits and ingredients. If you can communicate to me — clearly — what you’re looking for, I (and any bartender worth their salt) will make you something off-menu that fits the bill.
If you’re willing to answer the 12 million questions I ask you about what you want to drink, I’ll take just as many steps to deliver it to you. The worst thing you can do after insisting on the bartender’s attention is to be unprepared with your order, especially during a rush.
Tl;dr — get to know your palate and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.
5. Be a regular
Regulars make a restaurant or bar. A regular* is someone that comes in almost ritualistically, and is basically inducted as an honorary member of staff. They get to try new drinks before they hit the menu, hear all the restaurant tea and, most of the time, get what I refer to as “princess treatment.”
A regular is special, sacred and treasured — a familiar face that has decided to adopt an environment I’ve helped hone and make it their third place.
I love it when someone asks what nights I work so they can come back when I’ll be there. It makes our entire interaction more authentic and makes me feel like I am in the right profession, after all.
Tl;dr — becoming a regular is an honor, and you should strive to achieve it at least once in your life.
*P.S. This is a title that can only be bestowed by a staffer and cannot be self-assigned.
6. Don’t make me cut you off
It’s my job to make sure you’re having a good time, but it’s also my job to make sure you can still get yourself home.
While you’re sitting at my bar, you’re under my care. That can unfortunately mean sometimes I have to take your keys away or deny you service. Cutting someone off is never fun — it is almost always incredibly awkward, both for me and for you. So while I love making a fun round of shots and I adore encouraging you to try something new, I want you to do it safely (and maybe while having a snack).
Tl;dr — drink responsibly and make good choices.
Thanks for reading, and I can’t wait to see you sitting at my bar so soon. <3
(Tip your bartender!)
