For being as late in the game as we are, I expected more
from last night’s bore of an episode. There were only five queens left, and
both the mini and maxi challenges made me want to flip the channel to “Dancing
with the Stars.” Just kidding — I’ll never watch “Dancing with the Stars.”
Trixie Mattel’s departure last week left us with five
queens: Katya, Violet Chachki, Kennedy Davenport,
Pearl, and Ginger Minj.
Monday night’s mini challenge had the queens picking puppets
that represented their competitors, dragging them up, and then putting on a
puppet show. Pearl picked the Kennedy Davenport puppet and got in a nice dig
over that rooster
on fire?ensemble that everyone is still confused
about. Ginger Minj was the winner for her puppet
portrayal of Violet Chachki. “What is beautiful and
completely useless? A chachki!”
The maxi challenge was for each queen to create their own
runway eleganza with products provided by Hello
Kitty, #HelloKittyGirl. Since Ginger was the winner
of the mini challenge, she got to pick her Hello Kitty items first. Was this
another sewing challenge? Yes. Were the older queens freaking the eff out? Definitely.
Violet was completely un-phased, per usual — the girl has
been unshakeable this entire season, I will give her that.
Ru came in to check on her girls and brought a special
guest: Santino was back, ladies and gentlemen … at least for this episode. The
duo talked to each queen to see how they were doing — which was not great.
Kennedy called herself the cat suit queen — but did she know how to make one?
No.
Katya was struggling to even come up with a concept; Ginger
was falling behind in her execution; and the sexual tension between Santino and
Violet made me very, very, uncomfortable.
Just as Ru and Santino were about to depart, Ru threw
another twist in the game. Not only would the queens have to create the runway eleganza look, they would also have to create a Hello Kitty
BFF character and costume.
At this point, I knew that things weren’t going to go very
well for Katya — and that made me really sad. She was already struggling with
the initial challenge and to have something else thrown in the mix was not
going to turn out well. I
was praying for a miracle.ย On
elimination day, Katya still had to finish her main stage outfit and the Hello
Kitty BFF character as well. Hurry, girl!
The runway judges were Michelle Visage, Carson Kressley, Santino Rice, and Rebecca Romijn
(not Stamos).
First up were the Hello Kitty BFF characters, and for as
much as everyone was panicking about the additional challenge, most of them
actually pulled it off well. Ginger Minj’s country
cow dreamt of “becoming a designer handbag or a filet mignon.” Katya’s
Siberian, smoking, hooker BFF was hilarious. Pearl’s character was reminiscent
of Madonna’s cone-bra phase. But Kennedy and Violet’s characters were pretty
tame in comparison.
It was time for Hello Kitty runway eleganza.
Violet’s “1960’s Barbarella meets Harijuku
meets Space Cadet” outfit was definitely the most inspired look. Pearl
basically took a Hello Kitty blanket and cinched it. Ginger Minj
went crazy with the Hello Kitty heads. Katya described her look as “60’s
housewife/stuntwoman in space, and maybe an aerobics instructor.” Kennedy
basically threw some bows on a leotard. It was clear how this was going to play
out.
Santino thought Violet’s look was beautiful — GET A ROOM,
YOU TWO. Michelle loved Ginger’s BFF look but Carson was not crazy about her
outfit. While everyone acknowledged that Pearl’s look was basically just the
belted-blanket, it was not in the bottom two. No one liked Kennedy’s BFF
character, or her runway eleganza. As for Katya,
everyone thought her BFF character was hilarious, but her runway eleganza was confusing.
Violet was the winner of the challenge, and it was deserved.
Pearl and Ginger Minj were safe. That meant that
Katya and Kennedy were up for elimination. Dammit.
The song was Katy Perry’s “Roar,” the performances were
intense (so many splits!), and the outcome was terribly disappointing.ย Kennedy Davenport stayed and Katya sashayed
away. *Sigh* Bye, Katya. I will stalk the shit out of you on social media.
This article appears in May 13-19, 2015.
