BY COOPER AND PENNY (TRANSLATED BY CHRIS THOMPSON)
COOPER
My name is Cooper McVay (@gimmethecoop). I have a nice home, a great family, and life
is quite good. Only one thing is missing: I need love. Sure, I am only about a
year old, but why not start looking now? I am not one to waste my 1’s running
around sowing my wild oats only to wake up one morning and realize I’m 10 years
old and alone! I plan on having a full life, and why not share that experience
with someone special?
So I decided
I would go out on a date with a nine-month-old German shepherd named Penny. The
spot we agreed on was Bones Bakery, a bakery for dogs right in the middle of
the city. It is even friendly to our pet humans. It didn’t take much to
convince my human Renée to chaperone.
She enjoys a fun adventure. I thought Bones would be a great place for her to
roam around and play with Penny’s humans while we get to know each other.
I was a
little bit nervous as I climbed the steps to Bones Bakery. Normally I would
bring flowers or a stick, but I forgot. Penny may be younger than me, but she
is twice my size. I’m just a black Lab mixed with a smaller breed. Would that
turn her off? I still have my piercing puppy eyes! More nerve-wracking is that
Bones is the hottest spot for single dogs. What if the place is too expensive?
What if something I eat makes me sick? Most doggie treats are not as good for
me as they purport. How embarrassing it would be if I threw up in front of
Penny and then for her to lick it up! I was suddenly a furry bundle of nerves.
As I entered
Bones Bakery, there was Penny. She is…a talker. She kept telling me about all
the people who looked suspicious, who she had to ward off from her humans, and
all the other dogs who ventured into the shop before I got there. We sat down
in front of the chairs, and I ordered us Puppacinos
(goat’s milk and whipped cream with a cookie on top). They were delicious! I
then ordered a Dognut ($3) and a Puppy Cannoli
($2.75) for us to share. Penny would not stop talking about what the other dogs
were eating, so I was a little bit distracted. Still, I was impressed with the
establishment.
Bones Bakery
also has human-safe food. I bought my human’s friend Chris an apple muffin ($3).
Additionally, they serve coffee, which is a dark bean-based beverage
traditionally served hot. The coffee beans are from New City Cafe, and there is
a nitro cold brew on tap from Glen Edith. I think everyone was happy with their
treats, and I was quite satisfied with my date. I had no reason to be nervous.
Penny and I will likely see each other again, if I can get a word in of course.
PENNY
I know what you are thinking: what is a nine-month-old German
shepherd doing going on a date with a short, year-old black Labrador? But I
happen to like shorter dogs. And sure, the age difference may seem like a big
deal, but in the long run, we’re only a few months apart. And our humans get
along great. Besides, he still has very sweet puppy eyes. I was impressed that
he wanted to go to Bones Bakery on our first date. I’ve heard much about it
since it opened back in April.
I got there
first, and I was so excited to be there, I HAD to tell everyone about the
selection of goods. I told everyone who walked in the door. Cooper was more preoccupied
with burying his face in the food than talking, though. I learned so much about
our meal from listening to our pet humans chatter away. The shop owner, Dani
Lawson, committed herself to only using natural ingredients in her creations.
She doesn’t use any of the preservatives that mass-produced dog foods and
treats have. There are plenty of oats, peanut butter, and eggs, though. The
“chocolate” on our Dognut is actually carob, which is
good, because I do not want to die. The treats that Lawson makes are so popular
that she makes regular deliveries to Park Ave Pets, all 17 Country Max
locations, and she hosts pop-ups in cafes throughout the area.
For the
human food, Lawson even makes her own pumpkin syrup for the tea drinks. Instead
of the traditional syrups found in some cafes (made
of sugar, a color and number combination, and a hint of whatever flavor they
purport to be), Lawson’s syrup boasts real pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, and other
spices associated with autumn.
She told my
human that she loves dogs and coffee. Lawson has years of experience as a
pastry chef, and leaving her previous job at Upper Crust Cakery
was the best time for her to start something on her own. She wanted to be able
to do something that would allow her to bring her dog to work, and she wished
for dog treats that are truly healthy for her dogs. The bonus is that she gets
to see more dogs every day! I hear that humans are a good stress reliever for
dogs. Four dogs came with their pet humans while Cooper and I sat and chatted. After
the other parties left, Lawson called us to the checkout counter, and she gave
us sample pumpkin muffins! They were so delicious, I went back for seconds and
thirds.
Bones Bakery
turned out to be the best place for a first date, boasting delicious, healthy
food for us and sweet treats for our humans, all reasonably-priced. This is a
good thing, since neither of us have pockets. I shall return to Bones Bakery.
Whether or not I go with Cooper…we’ll see.
This article appears in Oct 9-15, 2019.
