Dear Maggie,
I’ve started pursuing social media content creation and I feel like my friends don’t respect my work. It’s not full-time yet, but I’m serious about turning it into something sustainable. At first they were supportive, but now I get backhanded comments when I pull out my phone to try to capture content. One person has asked not to be recorded at all, and while no one else said they have a problem specifically, the vibe has definitely changed. I feel like I can’t share a big part of my life.
Is there a way to balance pursuing this dream and keeping my friends?
Sincerely,
Camera Shy
Dear Camera Shy,
Being a good friend sometimes means having uncomfortable conversations, and this is one of those times.
If your content is built around your life, it makes sense you’ll be recording often. But that also means the people in your life get a say in how (or if) they’re included. That’s not them disrespecting your work; it’s them setting boundaries. And reading between the lines here, your friends may be reacting to moments where they felt like the hangout became more about you getting the shot than spending time with them.
It’s worth checking in with yourself: are you fully present? Today, a stray social post has the ability to do some damage. Are there some moments that are off-limits, or are you recording everything, including the Friday night post-work vent session? That said, even if they are feeling put upon, it’s not an excuse for them to be passive aggressive and avoid directly communicating their concerns.
I’ve been in a similar spot with friends from work. I was left off invites, ignored at company events, there was even a separate group chat. I only found out about it because they sent something not meant for my eyes to the wrong thread. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was hurt (I’m a sensitive soul). But the upside was that it created an opportunity to finally talk it through, and a lot of the issues came down to miscommunication and unspoken frustration on both sides. While we were able to work it out and they remain some of my dearest friends to this day, I wish it had never gone that far.
Set aside time to talk (phones off or silenced), and be upfront about your goals.You don’t have to give up what you’re building, but hear them out. At the same time, tell them how their reactions have made you feel and address the snide comments. You also need to accept that they may all ask for you to put the phone away when you’re together. You might even need a different content style to preserve friendships while still making your influencer dreams come true.
This isn’t about choosing between your friends and your work. It’s about setting boundaries on both sides so neither comes at the other’s expense.
xoxo,
Maggie
Send your burning questions to maggie@roccitymag.com.
