On top of Spaghetti
So rarely does pop culture send out tiny, brilliant flares
that I want to hide the ball for a moment. So let me begin with this e-mail: “I
have recently read your article to the [Kansas]
school board. You seem to be arguing that the FSM created the earth. I believe
the God of the Bible created the earth. Your argument states that schools
should teach evolution, intelligent design, and FSM creation…. The teaching of
Intelligent Design does not promote my God any more than yours or anybody
else’s for that matter…. Your letter gives the impression that you want your
religion to be taught. I believe that is wrong. We may have different beliefs
about how the universe came into existence but we both believe in Intelligent
Design.”
The e-mail was sent to the official website of the Church of
the Flying Spaghetti Monster (“FSM” above; www.venganza.org). The email
references a letter from the Church that argues that its beliefs also be taught
in Kansas
schools along with intelligent design. FSM beliefs are primarily: 1) the Flying
Spaghetti Monster created everything; 2) the Flying Spaghetti Monster will mess
with your science if you try to prove otherwise; and 3) the shrinking number of
pirates is responsible for global warming and other environmental disasters (a
graph proves it).
Like most faiths, self-described Pastafarians
have a gospel, some apparel (“sacrilicious”),
scattered decals, and good quotes. “In the beginning, He created a mountain,
trees, and a midget.”
And yet, how many other faiths strive so fully to shine
light in the darkest homes of ignorance? If even one bulb lights over a single
head, then the Flying Spaghetti Monster has served all mankind, just as we can
serve Him, ideally with a light garlic sauce.
May you be forever touched by His noodlyappendage.RAMEN.
This article appears in Sep 27 – Oct 3, 2006.
