The King, Burger King’s grinning, creepy mascot, is no
stranger to videogames, having made a substantial cameo in Xbox 360 game Fight Night Round 3. But the recent
release of Sneak King, PocketBike Racer, and Big Bumpin’ (available for Xbox and Xbox
360) marks the first time the fast food royal has scored a series of games for
himself. Surprisingly enough, these games don’t entirely suck. But let’s be
honest — they’re still not all that great, either.
Sneak King plays
much like Metal Gear Solid, but with
burgers instead of hand grenades. As the King, you sneak up on unsuspecting
people and surprise them with munchies while avoiding detection. For extra
stealth, you can hide in bushes, truck beds and barrels — even in piles of
leaves. But as promising as this premise is, Sneak King‘s execution is flawed. Saddled with slow gameplay, a non-intuitive camera layout, and tiresome
animations you can’t skip, the game gets old very quickly. Only so many
iterations of “sneak up on someone and surprise them with food” are possible
before the idea grows tedious. Besides, philosophically speaking, there’s
something unsettling about advertising icons popping out of garbage cans to
offer you food.
PocketBike Racer fares slightly better. The game
is essentially a Mario Kart clone,
with less cheer and more Subservient Chickens. While hunched over a
mini-motorcycle called a pocketbike, you race other
players around parking lots, suburbia, and the Fantasy Ranch. With good
graphics and tight, intuitive controls, there’s not much to
actively dislike about the game, and multiplayer bouts are moderately
entertaining. However, PocketBike Racer offers little substance or
compelling reason to keep playing. The game is adequate, nothing more.
Of the three titles, the only one worth its $3.99 pricetag is Big Bumpin’, a collection of Fusion Frenzy-like minigames concerning
bumper cars. Despite the lack of cursors designating players (which makes it
hard to determine who’s who on the board), Big
Bumpin’ is relatively well designed. It’s even
fun to play. In particular, bumper car-based hockey is
a riot. But be sure to ignore the single-player option; a game this silly
should only be played in the company of others, preferably while intoxicated.
If nothing else, Big Bumpin’ should be good for a few guaranteed laughs. At least it won’t make you hungry
for Burger King.
This article appears in Jan 10-16, 2007.
