Anyone remember those old What If comics Marvel used to make that wondered how things might
have turned out if certain scenarios had played out differently? I only have
two that survived my childhood (“What if Elektra hadn’t died?” and “What if the
Thing and the Beast continued to mutate?”), but the idea still seems kind of
cool. It would work pretty well on the screen, too, and we’ve already seen one
“what if” movie in the last few years. The
Emperor’s New Clothes told the story of an exiled Napoleon swapping
identities with an average Joe so he could slip back into Paris and take back
his kingdom.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย It’d be a
blast to see something like “What if Tom Cruise made a movie where he didn’t
play a rude, cocky, self-centered, petulant, successful jerk who is forced to
re-examine his life when something surprising happens?” or “What if Ron Howard
left Dr. Seuss’s books the hell alone?” but for now, we’ll have to make do with
the even more imaginative “what if” situation in Bubba Ho-Tep (opens
Friday, December 5, at the Little), a low-concept, low-budget horror-comedy
with enough originality to put Scary
Movie 3 and Freddy vs. Jason to
shame. Admittedly, that’s not too difficult a task, but even Bubba’s one-line
premise is witty enough to stand out amidst run-of-the-mill dreck like The Missing and Gothika.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Bubba‘s simple setup is this: What if
Elvis and John F. Kennedy were still alive and living in the same retirement
home, battling a soul-sucking mummy who preys on the vulnerable residents?
That’s crazy enough to lure the midnight-movie crowd out of the house. But the
casting of cult icon Bruce Campbell as Elvis is enough to turn those same folks
into a pack of Romero-esque zombies, ready to chew up the brains of anyone who
gets between them and whichever theater is lucky enough to run the film. (The
Little reports they started getting calls to “pre-order” tickets from people as
far away as Syracuse and Toronto once they booked Bubba over a month ago).
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Campbell, a
frequent guest in movies made by the Coen brothers and Sam Raimi, and forever
known and loved as Ash Williams in the latter director’s Evil Dead trilogy, plays the King, who has spent the last few
decades in a Mud Creek, Texas, retirement home. But nobody knows he’s Elvis.
See, back in 1976, he got tired of the insanity of being Elvis, and decided to
swap identities with one of his best impersonators. Trouble is, that
impersonator died of a drug overdose a year later, leaving the real Elvis stuck
living the life of one of many trailer-trash copycats.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Elvis, who
everyone thinks is Sebastian Haff, spent years in a coma after falling off the
stage and breaking a hip (doing an impersonation of himself!). Now 70, he lies
in bed and thinks about never getting to know Lisa Marie. He also wonders if
Priscilla would take him back in his condition, which, considering the
potentially cancerous growth on the tip of his long-dormant pecker, seems
rather unlikely.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Elvis’s
adventures begin with what he thinks is an infestation of Texas-sized
cockroaches, but it becomes clear that the creatures are merely a harbinger of
an even greater evil. Ossie Davis plays a fellow resident who swears he’s JFK
(his skin was dyed after the failed assassination attempt, natch) and thinks
what eventually turns out to be a soul-hungry mummy (Bob Ivy) is really Lyndon
Johnson back to finish off the job.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย There
really isn’t much to Bubba once you
get past the premise, and that is something made painfully clear when the big
battle between the two elderly superstars and the soul sucker comes and goes
before you even begin to appreciate it. The finale plays out exactly as you
would imagine a brawl between two septuagenarians (with a walker and a
motorized wheelchair) and a decrepit member of the undead might go. Elvis gets
to try out both some classic lines (“Never fuck with the King!”) and some of
his old Kung Fu moves, though the latter are rather unsuccessful due to the
broken hip and all.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย The other
big drawing card in Bubba is the
acting. Campbell gives what might be the best Elvis impersonation to ever be
seen in a film, merely because he’s not doing the “Hey, look at me! I’m playing
Elvis!” thing that most actors slip into when they play the King. The movie is
campy, but Campbell’s performance is not, and that’s a very important
distinction. His Elvis is depressing and very believable. Davis’s reputation
and his performance give the out-there story some additional credibility, as
well.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Bubba was written and directed by Don
Coscarelli, probably best known for making the wickedly cheesy four-film Phantasm series (the fifth — Phantasm’s End — is in pre-production
with a script co-written by Pulp Fiction‘s
Roger Avary). Coscarelli, who adapted the script from a Joe R. Lansdale short
story, does a good job by not stretching the very minimal premise beyond its
breaking point. We’ll be interviewing Coscarelli on WBER 90.5 FM’s Friday
Morning Show on December 5.
Interested in raw, unsanitized movie ramblings from Jon?
Visit his site, Planet Sick-Boy (www.sick-boy.com),
or listen to him on WBER’s Friday Morning Show.
This article appears in Dec 3-9, 2003.
