When the original “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie came out
in 2003, no one had high expectations for a summer blockbuster inspired by a
theme park ride and tied to a genre (the seafaring adventure) that had long
since fallen out of favor with audiences. But thanks to the deft hand of
director Gore Verbinski, Johnny Depp’s instantly
iconic performance, and one hell of a catchy orchestral theme, the movie became
a runaway hit, and gave birth to one of Disney’s more popular franchises.
Oh, what a
difference 14 years can make.
Every
subsequent chapter has offered diminishing returns, leading up to the utterly
forgettable “On Stranger Tides” (the first “Pirates” movie without Verbinski at the helm) in 2011. The fifth film in the
series, “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales,” charts the same
familiar course as those past installments: supernatural curses, double
crosses, and a hint of love story, with a bit of swashbuckling and sea battles
in between.
The new
film’s plot revolves around the search for the Trident of Poseidon, a mystical
doo-hickey that allows those who wield it to lift any and all seabound curses. And if you’ve seen even one “Pirates of
the Caribbean” movie, you can probably guess how enticing that power might be
to any of the franchise’s increasingly unwieldy number of characters.
One of those
characters happens to be Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites), son of Will Turner
(Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley). With Will still cursed
to captain the Flying Dutchman for all eternity, Henry enlists the help of
Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp, of course) to help him find the Trident and
save his father. Along the way, they add to their party Carina (Kaya Scodelario), an orphaned astronomer who may hold the key to
the Trident’s whereabouts. As per franchise requirements, we also get another
band of villainous undead sailors, this time lead by the vengeful Captain
Salazar (a hammy Javier Bardem), whose fate is tied
to a run-in with Captain Jack many years prior.
And because
the series’ characters are harder to get rid of than barnacles on the underside
of a ship, Captain Jack’s old foe, Captain Barbossa,
has to get involved (at least Geoffrey Rush still appears to be having some
semblance of a good time with the role). Add in zombie sharks, plus a witch — who
serves no purpose other than to make viewers wonder why characters spend so
much time accusing Carina of witchcraft when there’s, you know, an actual witch
running around — and it’s a lot to add to the already bloated, convoluted
mythology of the franchise. Despite being the shortest film in the series,
“Dead Men Tell No Tales” still manages to feel padded out.
Thwaites and
Scodelario are a moderate improvement over the
star-crossed mermaid and missionary protagonists from the last film, but they
still make for pretty bland leads. It doesn’t help that neither gets a whole
lot to do. Five movies in, and even the series’ most beloved character, Captain
Jack, is but a shadow of his former self. Depp’s portrayal has only grown
bigger, broader, and more cartoonish with every film; watching him coast on relentless
mugging and silly pratfalls, it’s a bit of a shock to remember that the actor
was Oscar-nominated for his work in the original.
This all
makes for mostly unmemorable viewing, though there are a few fun visual
touches: Salazar’s ghostly ship rearing up like a centipede as it attacks, a
spinning guillotine, and the sight of the Black Pearl coasting along the side
of a cavernous ocean trench. An early bank-heist scene is fairly entertaining,
even if it seems to be a pre-Industrial Age riff on a similar sequence from
“Fast Five.”
Norwegian
directors Joachim Rønning and Espen
Sandberg were able to lend a thrilling verisimilitude to their high-seas
adventure, “Kon-Tiki,” but here they’re unable to
conjure up the charm and imagination this franchise can provide. “Dead Men” is
overloaded with uninspired CGI, most of which follow the unfortunate recent
trend of gloomy-looking digital effects — you know you’re in trouble when even
a sequence set around a tropical coral reef is rendered in the same dull
blue-gray tones as almost every other blockbuster these days. And because
Disney technicians have gotten pretty good at it, we have to get a flashback
sequence featuring a digitally de-aged Depp.
“Dead Men
Tell No Tales” ends with a dutiful promise of another installment, and after
two hours of somnambulant performances, leaden effects, and slapdash
storytelling, it’s hard to tell who seems less excited by that prospect: the
audience or the filmmakers.
Check back on Friday for additional film coverage, including reviews of “The Wedding Plan”
and DC Comics’ “Wonder Woman.”
This article appears in May 31 – Jun 6, 2017.
