The
absurd reality that Keanu Reeves has been able to get good jobs in Tinseltown for the last 20 years makes him the luckiest man
alive. Mark Ruffalo has that brooding stoner doll
thing down cold at this point and he can truly act – why not hire him instead?
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย When Reeves’ movies tank it’s
because of him, and when they’re successful it’s despite him. Joan Rivers could
have starred in the Matrix trilogy
and it wouldn’t have made a bit of difference. Luckily, his latest film, Constantine, a kind of sci-fi Catholic noir, is yet another
in that string of happy accidents that even Keanu Reeves couldn’t ruin.
Unfortunately, its inevitable success will mean that Reeves will continue to
roam Hollywood unchecked.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Reeves plays John Constantine, a Los Angeleno
who has been blessed-cursed with the ability to see the true nature of the
demonic and angelic half-breeds who walk among us and do the bidding of their
respective superiors. A botched teenage suicide attempt has all but ensured Constantine’s eventual chthonic destiny, so he’s trying to win the
favor of the Man Upstairs and get into heaven by
sending the Devil’s minions back to hell in a variety of inventive ways. And
the clock is ticking, thanks to the terminal cancer that’s ravaging this chain
smoker’s body.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Enter Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz),
a detective investigating the death of her twin sister Isabel. Apparently
Angela and Isabel shared the same gift of otherworldly sight that Constantine possesses, which has made them targets in a
plot to help the son of Satan cross over onto the earthly plane. This can only
be accomplished with the Spear of Destiny (a blade that was used during the
crucifixion), which has just been exhumed in Mexico and is en route to the City of Angels.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Constantine is based on the Hellblazer graphic novels, but
probably 80 percent of the audience won’t know that. Or care, for that matter
— while a little background would no doubt aid in detangling the thick story,
it shouldn’t hinder anyone’s possible enjoyment of the film. The gobsmacking art direction and special effects are perfectly
captured by cinematographer Philippe Rousselot (Big Fish and the upcoming Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), and
my chin still smarts from a scene near the beginning that caused my jaw to hit
the floor.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Reeves’ laconic delivery may cause drowsiness,
but the rest of the cast should keep your eyes open since it is such a treat to
watch the talented overact. The normally aloof TildaSwinton completely hams it up with her portrayal of the
seemingly genderless angel Gabriel. Peter Stormare
(probably best known for feeding Steve Buscemi to the
woodchipper in Fargo) lays it on even thicker to play Lucifer (but
who wants to see a subtle Satan?). The super-sexy DjimonHounsou, as the impartial Papa Midnite,
takes a break from playing the saintly to channel the heavenly, and Gavin Rossdale, on holiday from his day job as the lead singer of
Bush, pops up to gnaw the scenery as half-breed fop Balthazar.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Oh, hell. If I don’t say something positive
about Keanu Reeves, my sister will have my head on a stick. So I will admit that
I thought he was really good as the abusive husband in The Gift. I could also point out that Reeves and I were both born
on September 2, which is semi-cool. Most importantly, however, he starred in a
movie that enabled me to finally trot out the word “chthonic.”
If you’ll indulge me for a second, I’m going to try to get a quote
in an ad for Les Choristes, France’s nominee for Best Foreign Language Film: “If
you’ve never seen a movie before, you’ll love Les Choristes!”
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย That should do the job, but this
one’s just for insurance: “Like being manipulated and bashed over the head? Go
see Les Choristes!”
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย The tale unfolds in flashback as two older men peruse a
journal and reflect on their relationship with an educator named Clement
Mathieu (GรฉrardJugnot).
It’s just after World War II when Mathieu accepts a job at a boarding school
for troubled kids. Of course, he’s not initially liked by the boys who populate
his class, but he finds a way to relate to his charges by teaching them to
sing. Just as predictably, the most rebellious one has an astounding voice. And a head-turning mom.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย The children all have their stock role to fill, whether it’s
bully, dope, or sad-eyed orphan. The headmaster lets us know he’s not to be
trusted by the way he trims the hair sprouting from his nose. But filmmaker ChristopheBarratier is the
actual villain here, using nefarious trickery like cute kids and swelling music
to get you reaching for the Kleenex.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย The names and places have changed, but this
story has been told many times before in films like Dead Poets Society, Mr.
Holland’s Opus, Dangerous Minds,
and Goodbye, Mr. Chips: Teacher tries
to make a difference and winds up learning a few things himself. Throw in a
little humor, tragedy, and adversity, and you got
yourself a movie… usually the same movie. Don’t make the mistake of thinking
that because it’s French it’s better. Go rent School of Rock instead.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย France bestowed a number of quality films upon the
world last year. Les Choristes is the one they chose to submit to the Academy? It was a totally pandering
move, and sadly, it totally worked.
This article appears in Feb 16-22, 2005.
