So I needed some warming up, you see. After a dismal
performance at pinball at Skylark, I was ripe and ready for some flashy
T&A, trashy rock ‘n’ roll, and odd behavior. The choice was clear: dump the
old lady off at home and high-tail it over to Abilene for The Coney
Island Rock ‘n’ Roll Roadshow starring a fistful of fabulous freaks living
life on the fringe.
Boy, did I get an education.
The Cut Throat Freak Show showed me that nostrils run deep
and the nose and throat are connected. The point was made with various pieces
of snot-lubed, disappearing Lego. I left before the scrotum-stapled-to-leg
finale but imagine it must’ve been a ball. A young barefooted contessa jumped
off a road case onto a pile of Legos masquerading as broken glass to the
delight of the non-flinching freaks in the audience.
Local acoustic duo Jaynie Crash followed,
sounding like Marty and Elaine if Marty and Elaine were psychotic drifters
thumbing a ride. The duo’s song, “Somebody’s In My Trunk,” illustrates my point
perfectly. Roanoke, Virginia’s Jesse Ray Carter followed
and blasted the kids with a high octane set of Fat Possum-esque blues and
rockabilly boogie. No Legos, no dildos (I’ll explain in a bit), just a
straight-up house-rockin’ racket. It was like a threat thinly veiled as an
invitation to dance. “You wanna dance? I thought so.”
And then there were the girls: Tattooed cotton candy-haired
pixie Scarlett Storm did a clever
striptease with a giant book of torsos she placed her head over. Later she
donned a strap-on dildo (told you) for the ring toss. Rochester peeler Miss
Evie Delilah bumped and slithered to The Cramps. I think she’s double jointed
everywhere. The party continued on to Disgraceland but it would be
ungentlemanly to elaborate.
This article appears in Feb 25 – Mar 3, 2015.
