You, gentle reader, are the best Greater Rochester has to
offer. Here are some of your responses.
Sushi restaurant: The pretentious place with the BMW parked outside it
Street meat: STREET MEAT
Bar/restaurant to
impress a wine connoisseur: My grandmas basement
Bar/restaurant to
order beer in a can: NOWHERE! Never drink beer out of cans!
Place to take the
kids: a better school district | away from me
Place to take a
vegetarian: To the moon! (eat meat) | mourning at Atomic Eggplant | I don’t
befriend vegetarians | the zoo
Place to cure a
hangover: planetarium | a time machine
Place for a first
date: Swans German deli | Scuttlebutt’s next to the fish tank
Place for a last
date: NET office | the cemetery
Place to buy a used
car: someone’s front yard in Wayne County | my dad | a used car dealer
Protest slogan of
2005: Boston Still Sucks | Frodo Failed Bush Has the Ring | I Love My
Country, But I Think We Should Start Seeing Other People | The Only Bush I
Trust Is My Own
Slogan to replace
“Rochester: Made for Living”: Rochester: Pretty Good, Most of the Time |
Rochester Is For Lovers | Rochester: Formerly Home to Kodak | It Could Be Worse
| The Last One to Leave, Turn Out the Lights | Rochester: South of Toronto
Tradition: that
ugly Liberty Pole at Christmas
Evidence the region’s
outlook is good: I finally got a job
Evidence we’re all
going to hell: uptick in foreign beer consumption | City Newspaper thinks Chris Maj is insane but John Parinello is not
| local family appearing on Nanny 911 |
We’re not going to hell, that’s not very positive. Think positively!
Way to lure people to
the area: alcohol | free food | shiny objects
Best-kept secret: libraries should be used more
Most annoying public
person: the guy who has been saying, “we ordered too many cars! what are we
going to do?! we can’t stack cars!!” for a year
Item to buy at the
Public Market: large eggs | Mennonite cookies | salt potatoes from the
smoking farmer | bunny rabbits but not to eat | Muppet things
Thing to do on the
Genesee River: drown (five votes) | cover your mouth | develop film
Place to pick up a
basketball game: Jim’s emporium of very tiny and light-weight basketball
games
Cheap thrill: my
ex
Original band: Buddahood
or Gaylord — can I vote for both? OK if not then just Buddahood. But you
should let me vote twice. Cause I left a lot of others blank. | (Is it gouche
that I vote for my band?… I mean, I honestly think we rock, and I’m sure
other bands vote for themselves as well.)
Place to dig some
poetry: If you dig poetry, I will dig your grave | 800 section —
Rochester Public Library | Uncle Plum!
Gay bar: does
Uncle Plum play gay bars?
Place to see naked
women: JCC | ewww
Place to see naked
men: Men don’t get naked. We disrobe! | JCC | ewww
Pickup line: You
have nice teeth | I want to slap your thighs up with some biscuits and gravy |
I work at the futon shop
This article appears in Nov 9-15, 2005.
