Inbox is going to be holding a contest. In addition to
collecting emails, we are going to dedicate one column to The Best Subject
Lines Ever Written. There is a certain poetry in the
abstractions of subject lines and we’d like to compile an experimental list of
the best out there. So, disregard any other information in the email, except
for the subject line, and send it along. The deadline for entries is January
13.
The following email is from a father to his son, regarding
some pine straw that appears to have caused some medical issues. Brenda is the
mother. Please send all insurance claims to inbox@rochester-citynews.com.
— Michael Neault
From: Andrew T.
To: Charlie T.
Subject: I am not afraid of pine straw
Date: October 31,
2005
Dear Charlie:
You will recall that it was
approximately a year ago that I was attacked by pine straw. Today while I was
raking up nine large piles of pine straw so that I could cut the grass I began
to remember that it was one year ago that I was attacked and had to go to the
doctor and have a large vacuum cleaner suck the pine straw residue off of my
ear drum after paying a $100.00 deductible for 8 ml for ear drops!! Well,
things are much better this year.
While raking up the pine straw I
heard the pine straw needles discussing what happened last year and they were
planning another “terrorist style” attack this year. I quickly reminded them
that since last year two pine trees had been cut down (Coincidence?? I think
not) — a large one and a small one — so none of them were safe.
That seemed to get their
attention. Then I told them that Brenda had given conditional approval for four
more pine trees to meet a similar fate. When I would not identify which four
pine trees were targeted the pine straw began to panic and tried to become my
best friend.
No, I am Not
afraid of pine straw.
Love,
Dad
This article appears in Dec 14-20, 2005.
