ย [
READERS’ CHOICE ] BY CITY NEWSPAPER READERS

We’ll be honest with you: while we enjoy spreading the word
about what you voted as Rochester’s
best pizza parlor or car shop, our favorite part of Best Of is going through
the smart-ass answers sent in by our clever, snarky
readers. You all are funny. And MEAN! But that’s why we like you. Below find
some of our favorite responses to the open-ended primary ballot, which ran
during September. If you missed your chance to get in a zinger or two, make sure
to check back next fall for a chance to get in your potshots.

Oh, yeah! THAT one!

That place at the food court at Marketplace. (Best Pizza)

That place on Monroe Ave
that I can’t remember because I’m always hungover
when I’m there. (Best Breakfast)

That cute little place on Monroe.
(Best Diner)

That dude that stands outside that place. (Best
Street Meat Vendor)

Uhm…the place on Merchants. (Best Florist)

That place behind Dogtown. (Best
Make-Out Spot)

The one down the street. (Best
Corner Store)

The one with all the old things.
(Best Antique Store)

OH OH The one that sells seeds… (BestGarden Store/Nursery)

The dude on NPR. (Best Radio Voice,
Male)

That chick on that show. (Best Radio
Voice, Female)

The one with all the left turns.
(Racing Event)

I can’t remember their name…one girl, two guys,…the voices are bad but they’re so good. Played
at the Bug Jar. (Original Band)

That douchey one.
Oh wait, that doesn’t help. (Nightclub)

That kid who dances on the corner in Holley. (Best Local
Newsmaker)

The fat one. (Best Stripper/Exotic
Dancer)

Ones with a strong sense of unity.
(Best Neighborhood)

Why is she in such a bad mood?

Dianasour. (Best Barbecue)

That’s not what she sad last night. (Oooh,
ya burnt!)

My girlfriend’s place! You’re not invited! (Best Breakfast)

You might want to reconsider those plans at some point…

No thanks. I don’t plan on dying. (Allergic.)
(Best Fish Fry)

Ain’tno
thing but a chicken wing.

Anywhere, they’re all the same too — there’s no real secret
to making wings. You fry them and throw on some sauce.

Pride goeth before the fall…

I’m a PROUD Rochester
native but I will NEVER touch one of those things! (Best Plate)

Sounds…appetizing.

Creepy van in East End. (Best
Street Meat Vendor)

Hello, random:

“Jermaine the thug – in the Houuuuuuse” (Best Street Meat Vendor)

Everyone’s a little bit racist.

They’re all the same, aren’t they? (Best Asian Restaurant)

Thanks for sharing.

I don’t like pasta. (Best Italian Restaurant)

Wow, somebody really likes quesadillas.

Sol Mother-F**king Burrito!!!!!! Best Quesadillas Ever! I
Promise! (Best Mexican Restaurant)

Not a kid person.

Your kitchen at home, where your
ill-behaved children belong. (Best Family Restaurant)

Sobering realities.

Those don’t exist. In every kitchen is a hungover
waitress screaming about how f**ked up she got the night [before]. (Best Family
Restaurant)

How do you even make vegan ice cream?

The vegan one. Oh wait, never mind.
(Best Ice Cream Shop)

Whipped!

I ALWAYS PAY! (you’re welcome babe!)
(Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying)

Easy to please.

Anywhere. I’m greedy AND
adventurous. (Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying)

Disturbing for so many reasons…

McGangBang — a McChicken
sandwiched between a double cheeseburger — at the now-defunct East Ave McDonald’s.
$2.16 of Death. (Best Meal Under
$10)

Good luck, indeed.

Good Luck, cuz I have to stock that
shit. (Best Wine List)

Ba-dum bump!

The Bachelor Forum…tons of cocks, many
selections. (Best Cocktail Selection)

Yes, we are so impressed
by your big, manly beer…

(Shrugs) No pussy drinks for me. (Best Cocktail Selection)

But why? They’re so cushy
on your feet.

I’m scared of laundry mats. (Best Laundromat)

Note: City Newspaper does not advocate this method of
acquiring a new-car.

Get yourself a good crowbar and you can buy a new car
anywhere. (Best Place to
Buy a New Car)

Because some of us aren’t elitist pricks?

Why would you want someone else’s junk? (Best
Place to Buy a Used Car)

That class reunion will be uncomfortable…

I went to school with Rich Ide and
he makes a lot of jokes for someone who just is NOT FUNNY. (Best
Place to Buy a Used Car)

And also, illegal.

Highland Park
with a pair of gardening shears ought to be pretty good. (Best Florist)

Also handy when trying to remember
Madonna lyrics.

When you have about six gay friends who do hair, you never
have to go anywhere. (Best Hair Salon)

Watch out for the bald, nude, shoeless man walking the
streets.

I am a dude. (Best Hair Salon, Spa, Clothing Store,
Secondhand Clothing Store, Shoe Store)

For a different kind of facial.

Rochester Spa and Body Club. (Best Spa)

But how do you business casual?

Clothes are overrated, body paint is
where it’s at! (Best Clothing Store)

But better, because your dentist can’t put a bitchin’ Neil Diamond effigy on your molar.

Physical Graffiti: clean as a dentist’s office. (Best Tattoo
Parlor)

Ba-dump bump! Part 2

Liquor in the front and Poker in the rear.
(Best Liquor Store)

We think you mean “CrackyMcCracky’s Crack Stop.”

That place with the crack stems with roses in them. (Best
Corner Store)

The most magical day of the week.

Trash day eve. (Best Furniture
Store)

Your mom said to shut up.

Ask my mom. (BestGarden
Store/Nursery)

He said it, Bob. We didn’t.

The angry Bob Lonsberry.Uber-MANLY!!! (Best Radio Voice, Male)

Have you tried a Jonas Brothers CD instead?

Radio makes me hate music. (Best Radio Voice, Female)

Best answer ever, if you get the reference.

Karen in “Mean Girls.” (Best
Reliable Weatherperson)

Does he also rent an apartment to Chrissy,
Jack, and Janet?

Al Roper. (Best Reliable Weatherperson)

Setting the bar high.

RNews, because they fucking do news up real good and shit.

RNews, simply because it’s always on.

Channel 10, because everything’s an investigation. (Best TV
News Station)

Oldies but goodies.

Don Alhart: that guy must be immortal.

Ray Levato: old and cranky. Not
unlike me. (Best Male News Reporter)

I’m sure she appreciates the sentiment.

Who ever is the ugliest…she needs a confidence booster, I
bet.

Nikki Rudd, I would totally leave my husband for her. (Best
Female News Reporter)

But do they know you’re laughing at them, not with them?

Monroerising: rightwing nuts,
totally w/o restraint or shame. (Best Local Website)

But what does that leave us with?

Anything that doesn’t feature a fat Italian
man yelling at me to buy a car. (Best Local Commercial)

High standards, Part 2.

Everything, because it wasn’t about the
freaking fast ferry. (Best Local News Story)

We thought her middle name was “Helen.”

Maggie “I’m going to close the library and zoo and sue to
stop gay marriage” Brooks. (Politician in Need of a Slap in the Head)

Mayor Duffy, consider it a mandate:

I wish they would buy an ice cream truck and drive around and
give out free ice cream. (Best Use of Public Funds)

As if we could stop you…

Can I still complain about the fast ferry? (Misuse of Public
Funds)

Why can’t it be both?

The mysterious smell around MCC: death or coffee? (Urban
Legend)

Dammit, we had Professor
Plum in the Conservatory with the lead pipe.

Mayor Duffy, in the Dining Room, with the
Wrench. (Local Scandal)

Um, no.Tim
Allen of “Toy Story,” maybe.

Tim Allen of “Home Improvement.”
(Improvement Rochester Needs)

How do they keep score?

SmugtownBabyMakers.
(Sports Team)

We’re sure she appreciates your support

Jen Str….
I can’t spell it. The pole vaulter.
(Athlete)

Giving a new meaning to “tee off”

GeneseeValley. It used to be a great place to hook up at night. (Golf
Course)

OK, fine. We accept it.

Park Avenue. It’s urban! You’re City! Accept it!! (Hiking Spot)

We’re pretty sure this is a joke. We hope it is.

I like to troll for kids at local schools. (Playground)

She’s got nothing on Accordion Boy

Ukelele Girl seems cool. (Solo Musician)

Feel the love

The street. (Kids Entertainment)

Sounds like a plan.

Lux. If the date sucks you can drunkem up and push them on to someone else and then leave with
a friend. Haha. (Place for a First Date)

Klassy indeed.

Klassy Cat. (Romantic Restaurant)

Where can we find this magical place?

Bikinis & Weenies. (Place to
Find a One-Night Stand)

Cue the rimshot…

Solera. Most people seem quite happy there. (BestGayBar)

A plea for equality.

There are no male strip clubs in town, so suck it. (Best
Strip Club)

Something to shoot for next year.

Hahahahahaha… my new goal in life!
To be voted Rochester’s best whore.
Shoot me. (Best Stripper/Exotic Dancer*)

Someone has a thing for the Brawny man…

Where do they sell flannel? (Best Lingerie Shop)

Your taxpayer dollars at work:

In front of one of the new police cameras.
(Best Make-Out Spot)

*City removed the Best Stripper/Exotic Dancer category after
nobody received more than one vote in our preliminary ballot.

This article appears in Nov 12-18, 2008.