BEST OF ROCHESTER ’08: Critics’ Picks

Best Excuse for a Heart Attack: South Wedge Skillet

In the thriving South Wedge neighborhood, a nondescript brick
building on South Avenue houses
the South Wedge Diner. This no-frills eatery serves up classic diner fare with
a classic diner attitude. There are no towering,
artful presentations or over-the-top ingredients to be found here. What you
will find, however, is efficient service with unpretentious, solid food.

            What draws
me back time after time is a skillet that reminds me of a late-night Rochester
favorite. In “plate” style, the South Wedge Skillet masterfully combines a
scrambled egg disc as the base, followed by tender home fries and a mountain of
shredded cheddar cheese. These breakfast staples are then topped with so much
sausage gravy that the entire dish floats with glee. Knowing you’ll need
something to sop up all of that goodness; the cooks graciously include a large
biscuit ready to accomplish the task. — BY TRICIA SEYMOUR

Best Corruption of a Healthy Food: Orange
Glory Spinach Burger

Spinach is so good for you. It’s loaded with iron and calcium
and all kinds of vitamins. For proof of its power, look
what it does for Popeye. And yet it’s…not exactly appetizing. When you put it
in a salad, it’s tough to choke down unless drenched with bacon and mushrooms
and dressing. When it’s boiled, you best break out the salt and butter.

            Or just head
over to Orange Glory Café. The tiny café on East
Avenue, right next to The Little, has created an
absolutely scrumptious solution to the spinach
dilemma. Owner Jaquelyn Powers has
created the spinach burger, mixing the boiled leaf with a hearty amount of asiago cheese (and do I detect a little polenta?), grilling
it up, and then serving it on a delicious whole-wheat bread. It’s earthy,
moist, and cheesy, and since you’re chomping through it like its ground-beef
mainstay, gives you the satisfaction of feeling like you’re cheating while you
remain (relatively) healthy.

            If spinach
isn’t your thing, consider one of the other gourmet sandwiches or salads at the
café (it’s only open for lunch on weekdays), and don’t hesitate to spring for
the box lunch, which comes with a side and one of Orange Glory’s legendary
cookies. — BY ERIC REZSNYAK

Best Place to Feed Your Family on the Cheap: Cherry’s
European

The first time my best friend and Public Market partner in
crime Dave broke away from our face-stuffing Saturday morning tradition of
delicious empanadas at Juan & Maria’s, I might have kicked him — hard, too
— if he hadn’t come up with an option that was a total win. Lucky for him (and
his shins), he dragged me to Cherry’s European, where I had the best breakfast
sandwich I’ve eaten since returning to Rochester
five years ago.

            Cherry’s
sign touts “Polish Ukrainian American Cuisine,” and as such, diners can get
their fill of delicious pierogies, crepes, potato
pancakes, polish sausages, and cabbage rolls that melt in your mouth and stick
to your ribs, just like good homemade cabbage rolls should. Yet if the kids (or
finicky adults) aren’t feeling adventurous, Cherry’s also has standard fare,
such as omelets, cheeseburgers, grilled cheese sandwiches, pancakes, or French
toast. Best of all, nothing on the menu is over $4. Seriously: nothing.

            A family of
four can get their grub on for less than $20 — including a candy treat if you
ask nicely before you leave — all while taking in the chaos and cacophony of
our magnificent Public Market. A meal and entertainment for a
family of four for less than $20? Try to do that elsewhere. Go on, try,
and let me know how it works out for you.

            And about that breakfast sandwich. It’s simple — egg and
cheese on a hard roll, with your choice of bacon or polish sausage if you’re
carnivorous — but damn, it’s good. Best yet, it costs a mere $2. I devour mine,
with hot sauce of course, in about six bites.

            Cherry’s
European is located near the Railroad Street
entrance of the Rochester Public Market and is open 7 a.m.-2 p.m., Thursday-Saturday. — BY LAURA KEENEY

Best $2 Can of Beer: Porkslap

So usually if you’re after a cheap can of beer at the bar,
it’s something like a PBR. Well, since Abilene
opened, the can’s gone classy — kind of. Porkslap is
just as cheap as PBR, but 10 times tastier. Plus, it comes in this cute
peachy-orange can that’ll capture your attention for at least a full minute once
it’s in your hands, if just for the illustration: two hefty porkers posed,
mid-jump, legs splayed, big bellies facing each other.
You can just imagine the sound they’d make on collision: it’s a porkslap! The beer is a pale ale
brewed with a little chocolate malt (for color) by the folks at Butternuts. The
regulars at Abilene lap it up. — BY
JEN GRANEY

Best Bling: Crystal Icing

What do superstars want that they can only get in Rochester?
No, it’s not white hots. It’s bling.
J Lo got some. So did Eva Longoria and Lindsay Lohan.
And Paris Hilton says hers is hot. Tommy Lee listens through his. What they all
have is accessories frosted by Crystal Icing.

            Far from the
red carpet, Crystal Icing is located in Village Gate. The business takes
practically anything you’ve got and covers it with Swarovski crystals. You pick
the design — or choose from one of the biz’s products — and each crystal is
hand glued to your phone, your laptop, your guitar, or even your asthma
inhaler. Anything you want to bling. And out comes a
sparkling spectacular.

            Or if you’re
a DIY kind of star, purchase one of their kits. Don’t look for a storefront,
however. Orders can be placed by phone or over the internet only (check it out
at crystalicing.com). And now that Britney Spears was recently spotted sporting
some Crystal Icing sparkle, expect a small wait. But don’t be discouraged. Your
item is given its very own Icing appointment, so you won’t be parted for long.
— BY DALE EVANS

Best Way to Get to NYC at 1
a.m.: Chinatown Bus

If you need to skip town quick — or if you’re just planning a
trip — grab your suitcase and head down to 733 Monroe Ave around 1 a.m., when
you can hop the clean and quiet white bus that comes our way from Buffalo.
Before you know it, you’ve been dumped in the deserted streets of New
York City’s Chinatown at 6 or 6:30 a.m. You couldn’t get there faster unless
you flew. The ride back is equally speedy — just make sure you get to Canal
Street by the 5 p.m. departure time — and there’s
a quick stop for lunch or dinner if you need it. The bus costs $50 each way for
students with ID, and $60 for the rest of us. You should probably bring your
own water or a snack. There’s a bathroom on the bus; just don’t sit near it, or
your head will be reeling by the time you hit the big city. Order tickets
online at gotobus.com, or call 271-6210.– BY JEN
GRANEY

Best place to pick up 80’s movies on the cheap: Rick’s
Recycled Books

Sometimes the urge to watch random 80’s movies strikes at the
most inopportune times. So what’s one to do when a Thursday night “Grey’s
Anatomy” session suddenly digresses into the need to see “Can’t Buy Me Love” right now? Head to
Rick’s.

            Rick’s
Recycled Books has been in its current location on Monroe
Avenue for roughly 10 years. The unassuming
storefront has definitely seen better days, and at first glance the store’s
inventory looks like it was organized by kindergarteners on a Sugar Smacks
high. But don’t judge this book by its cover. More than 25,000 titles, DVDs,
and VHS tapes are crammed into the 1300-square-foot shop in a surprisingly
organized manner; owner Rick Briggs can tell you exactly where anything can be
found.

            As for
getting your pre-Dr. McDreamy Patrick Dempsey fix,
hit the wall of VHS tapes, where you can fulfill your 80’s movie needs faster
than that zany Ferris Bueller kid can outwit
Principal Rooney. I’ve picked up “Pretty in Pink,” “The Lost Boys,” “Bill and
Ted’s Excellent Adventure” and “Romancing the Stone,” among other gems, for $2
each. Bring them back as a trade-in and your next batch is half-price. The
added benefit of horrifying your kids with the Molly Ringwald
dance and 80’s hairstyles and fashion is an added bonus. — BY LAURA KEENEY

Best New Rochester
Band: Velveteen Fox

Picking the best anything when it comes to Rochester’s
music scene opens you up for arguments you can’t win. Honestly, it’s a futile
endeavor; we’re talking Sisyphus, hamster-on-a-treadmill shit. But I can safely
say Velveteen Fox is the Best New Band Of 2008. Here’s why:

            Experience: This
is a band made up of numerous veterans who’ve spent years getting their kinks
and ya-yas out while getting their rocks off in a
fistful of Rochester outfits.

            Sex appeal:
As The Earl Cram Revue, the band personified a
psycho-sexual urge and blasted it out with a classic, borderline-garage attack.
But the band’s soul — one of its crucial elements — and especially what came
out of Suzie Willpower’s throat, could no longer be contained.

            Change we
can believe in: A name change and focus on full-on soul music served with some
good ol’ preacher-without-a god fever and Velveteen
Fox was born. And now you will be, too.

            Redemption,
satisfaction, boners: Get drenched in the band’s tight grooves. It’s hot and loose.
And just dig Willpower’s voice as it loosens ceiling tiles, blows doors off,
and shortens your trousers. — BY FRANK DE BLASE

Best Hollywood Hopeful: Zoje Stage

Rochester has
been home to some pretty famous people: Garth Fagan, Philip Seymour Hoffman,
Teddy Geiger, Taye Diggs. And
soon, we’ll be able to add one more name to our proud list: Zoje
Stage. While not yet a household name, the local filmmaker recently won the
prestigious New York Foundation for the Arts fellowship for screenwriting,
placing her in the ranks of previous winners like Spike Lee, Mira Nair, Todd
Haynes, and Julie Taymor. Many NYFA Fellows have gone
on to win Tonys, Oscars, Pulitzers, and MacArthur
Fellowships.

            Stage is
currently trying to secure funding for her award-winning script, “The Machine
Who Loved,” which she also plans to direct. The fascinating story defies
categorization: it’s part science fiction, part
romance, and part drama. It’s artsy and accessible at
the same time. It combines familiar story arcs, yet it’s like nothing you’ve
ever read. So keep your eyes open because it’s a project that has a very high
chance of lifting off — and soon. It’s already been compared to the work of
Ingmar Bergman by someone in the biz, and Stage is in the process of attracting
Viggo Mortensen for one of the leads.

            So, Rochester,
next time you brag about how your city often fosters some of Tinseltown’s biggest talents, throw out the name Zoje Stage. Once she makes it big, you can pretend you knew
her when. — BY SUSIE HUME

Best Place to Oooh and Ahh: Artisan Works

I don’t think it’s physically possible to see everything in
Artisan Works. The 60,000-square-foot facility off Blossom
Road is packed nearly floor to ceiling with
artwork, craft pieces, gewgaws, and décor of just about every conceivable type.
We’re talking classic-style paintings, modern sculpture, photography,
installation pieces, even giant wooden replicas of household items like cameras
and rollerskates.

            The space is
divided into a variety of themed spaces, from a Japanese-style tea room to a
replica of a fire station (with bunks, sliding pole, and yes, a truck) to
gorgeous rooftop garden to a private movie theater to Frank Lloyd
Wright-inspired dining room/loft space/wine cellar. Or you can stroll down the
so-called Boulevard Garibaldi and peek at some of the workspaces of the artists
in residence.

            I’ve been
there a couple times and I’m still not entirely sure what it does. It’s not
quite a museum (although it does open to the public on weekends; great place
for a date). It’s not quite an art studio. It’s not just an event rental
location (although it books plenty of those). It’s kind of all those things
rolled into one, and more, and one of the most amazing venues in our fair city.
— BY ERIC REZSNYAK

Best
Connect-The-Dots: Ann McCracken

Our
lives are punctuated by specific places, people, and events. But while we’re
careening through space and time, mostly waiting, what fades to the background?
Amid the flashing stepping stones, artists work to point out the crucial
lost things to other people. To Ann McCracken, art is a lifestyle. She’s a
bundle of barely contained creative-chaotic energy, full of the desperate
search for meaning, and loves the stories and the journey. Talking with her
allows a glimpse of the universe’s invisible, tangled web of connectivity — a
place where McCracken seems more than at home.

            Her rapid-fire conversation is a
reflection that she’s constantly thinking, her hands in several projects at
once. “I’m genetically wiggly, so it’s great,” she says. For 25 years,
McCracken has owned and run A Good Sign Company (she painted the Station 55
sign near the Public Market entrance). Much of her sign-painting work comes
from immigrant-based, mom-and-pop businesses, which she calls “a great vehicle
to hear people’s stories.”

            Her quiet little fine art works seem
at odds with her personality, until you hear that she also possesses the
tranquil center for gardening and yoga. McCracken grew up in a rural area
outside Philly, and recalls riding the school bus and wiping away the frosted
windows to view stretches of fields along the road. Her art imitates this; the
tiny colored pencil compositions of rural Rochester are nostalgia-inducing
windows full of cloud-muted sweeps of land, populated with silos, water towers,
barns, fields after harvest, the essence of winter, and tall grasses. Pale weather
abounds; it’s enough to make a rustic-rooted gal like me remember her school
years fondly. What utter loveliness existed on the periphery of adolescent
drama! McCracken’s tiny works never fail to point out the crushingly delicate
beauty in the seemingly mundane, reminding us to look around while we’re just
waiting for the point. — BY REBECCA RAFFERTY

Best
Nonpartisan Media Site: The Smugtown Beacon

Curt
Gerling coined the nickname “Smugtown”
in the 50’s to describe the oblivious, upper-class arrogance often found in
this community. About a year ago Christopher J. Wilmot and Aaron Wicks adopted
the name for their website, The Smugtown Beacon (smugtownbeacon.com),
which offers cogent opinions and editorials about issues facing the Rochester area
and beyond. It shouldn’t come as any surprise that the aisle-hopping former legislator
and the unaffiliated Ph.D. in political science both follow their learned
consciences rather than any particular party line, with a recent post by Wilmot
taking both major camps to task while copping to a vote for Obama/Biden.
(The dealbreaker for the Republican
Wilmot?Palin, duh!) Even City Newspaper isn’t immune to skewering,
having recently been nominated as the Most Smug Media Outlet. The Beacon
asserts that “City has always been well intentioned, yet it consistently
succumbs to knee-jerk, left wing opinions that are neither progressive nor
terribly interesting any longer.” Ouch. But then: “Good film reviews, though.”
Aw, forgiven! — BY DAYNA PAPALEO

Best Local Sci-Fi Legend: What Lies Beneath

It goes like this: there is a secret installation beneath the
City of Rochester where experiments
in time travel and mind control take place. The facility is connected to
another, larger facility in Rome, New
York, by a tunnel beneath the AndrewsStreetBridge.
Electric cars take you from one installation to the other. I read about this in
a book called “Weird New York,” and have seen it on the Internet, too. I love
stories about unsolved mysteries and unexplained phenomena. Wait, am I a geek?
— BY CHRISTINE CARRIE FIEN

Best Political Comeuppance: Alice Kryzan’s
Democratic Primary Victory

When Alice Kryzan upset Jack Davis
and Jon Powers in a Democratic Congressional primary in September, it stunned
the Western New York political world. Until that point, Kryzan had fluttered in the background, receiving less
attention than the party’s handpicked candidate, Powers, and Davis,
whose idea of a campaign was buying ads, gas, and people. (Remember, local
Independence Party leader Rafael Colon was forced out after it came out that
his wife was on the Davis campaign
payroll.)

            Kryzan kept a low profile while her opponents ripped each
other to shreds. She ran one ad during the whole primary, and it picked on her
opponents for getting a little too scrappy. It proved a smart strategy, and she
won the primary. Afterward, there was a mad scramble to realign the party,
labor, and other groups behind her.

            Kryzan went on to run a solid campaign against Republican
Chris Lee. But the issues got lost in the noise created by some ridiculous
negative advertising — if I never hear the phrase “liberal trial
lawyer” again it will be too soon — that saturated the airways. They were
some of the nastiest in the year’s races. Kryzan lost
the general election, and Lee will go on to represent the 26th Congressional
District, but for a few short months it was quite the Cinderella story. — BY
JEREMY MOULE

Best Resignation: Steve Minarik

When Steve Minarik said his job as
chair of the countyRepublican
Party was never about collaboration, it was an
understatement. For Minarik, it was always about
winning elections. And he was good at it, though his tactics were often
questionable — remember the Pac Man ad during the Maggie Brooks-Bill Johnson
race for county executive?

            But those
days are behind him. On June 27 of this year, he quit. County Executive Maggie
Brooks asked him to resign the post and said she wanted a more collaborative
approach within the party. Minarik was fine with it —
or said he was, anyway.

             The past year or so was a rocky road for countyRepublicans and, in retrospect, Minarik’s time had passed. The party lost seats in the
Legislature, and there was significant backlash when the administration and GOP
legislators rammed through a budget plan that took money away from suburban
schools. The debacles of the public defender and MCC president selection, too,
angered the public. — BY JEREMY MOULE

Best Defiance
of Rochester’s Climate: Tuesday
Night Urban Assault Rides

It is no secret that Rochester’s
winters can be extreme: slush-filled streets, snow that seems to land on our
city in that all-or-nothing fashion, and winds that blow one front after the
next right through us.

            But every
Tuesday night from October to March, a group of bicyclists take whatever Mother
Nature throws our way and tackles it head on. Scott Page, owner of St.
Paul Street cycling store Full Moon Vista, hosts
what’s called Tuesday Night Urban Assault Rides. The weekly rides begin at 6:15
p.m., and attract anywhere from 25 to 75 riders that gather in the Corn Hill
neighborhood and ride their mountain bikes around an ever-changing route
throughout the city and surrounding towns.

            They might
not break any speed records as they pedal through the salted and plowed roads,
but that’s also not the objective. The point is to ride — and that they do.
While others seek out anything warm, these riders take what’s thrown at them
and pedal past. Hats off to them (well, so long as it’s not too cold out). — BY
BRENDAN GIUSTI

Best Graffiti’d Women’s Bathroom:
Dinosaur BBQ

For all the graffiti in every public bathroom, the Dino
sticks out for its audacity to leave every last bit of sketch and scribble on
the walls and — look up! — the ceiling. Colors bleed,
clash, and cross; it’s a work of art by default. Though it’s probably not so,
it’s easy to imagine that some of the name-calling and tagging is left over
(like El Destructo’s ceiling work in the front
hallway) from the Dinosaur’s days as the nightclub Carpe Diem.

            We also have
to give special mention to Lux for its creativity.
The place provides colored chalk to fuel your scribbling impulses, and wipes
the walls clean every so often, leaving a blank slate for fresh hands to dirty
up all over again. — BY JEN GRANEY

Best
Reason to Remember Your Safe Word: Rochester Kink
Society

People’s
hobbies are as arbitrary and varied as snowflakes, but on any given day
like-minded souls are communing to celebrate their common interests… or, as
they’re known in certain circles, fetishes. Existing among all of the movie
clubs, hiking groups, stitch-n-bitches, and bonsai rings is the Rochester Kink
Society (rochesterkinksociety.com), an organization that has discreetly catered
to the BDSM aficionados of our fair city since 1996. Yes, those are the call
letters for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and
masochism, but before you start tsk-tsking, know that
the RKS is populated by dues-paying adults over the age of 18, and cardinal
among their many rules is mutual consent, confidentiality, respect and safety.
As a matter of fact, the interaction isn’t even about sex; penetration and
exchange of bodily fluids are not allowed at RKS “Play Parties.” So if the wine
tastings and book discussions just don’t do it for
you anymore, there are always other manners in which to, um, socialize. — BY
DAYNA PAPALEO

This article appears in Nov 12-18, 2008.