Meet
the family
Most
of the parents I know practice what I call “intentional parenting.” They make
careful, deliberate decisions about what they do with and for their children,
and what they allow them to do (or don’t allow them to do). For intentional
parents, information is everything. We want to make good decisions for our
families, and we want to base those decisions on high-quality, timely
information.
           This week, City adds a new weekly feature called “Family valued” (page 25).
Our goal: to provide a consistent, useful resource for intentional parents.
Each week, you’ll see a short calendar of events for families, parents, or
children (send listings to calendar@rochester-citynews.com); a column of
information for or opinion by parents; and a family-related arts review.
           This week, you’ll find Jennifer
Loviglio’s thoughtful discussion of helping her children deal with death.
Switching gears, Dave Cross takes a sideways glance at the SpongeBob SquarePants: Original Theme Highlights CD. In the future,
you’ll see articles by pediatrician Lawrence Sugarman, librarians from the
Monroe County system, and many others, including a teen author or two.
           If you have ideas, we want to hear
them. Write to themail@rochester-citynews.com or to City Newspaper, 250 North
Goodman Street, Rochester, NY, 14607.
—
Adam Wilcox
Adam Wilcox, a
City Newspaper food and features writer, lives in Rochester with his wife Anne
and children Lila (7), Iris (5), and Oscar (2).
Review
SpongeBob SquarePants: Original Theme Highlights
Kids seem to be the most marginal
of all markets being served by the music industry. Among the current slim
selection and wickedly dull offerings at local malls, chains, and retail
stores, the most appealing discs to my kids are current cartoon soundtracks and
reworked, watered-down top-40 numbers with kid singers.
           Even if you live under a rock, you know that SpongeBob
lives in a pineapple under the sea, right? Well, hey there kiddies, get his
disc, and you can drive your family completely bonkers. Play the SpongeBob theme four or five times on your little blaster
while giggling so hard your chocolate milk squirts out your nose. I guarantee
you’ll get a reaction.
           While mom’s busy cleaning up that mess, you can learn to
tie knots in your shoelaces via a quick lesson from Ween. Or Sandy The Squirrel
and Junior Brown can help you yodel like Hank, Sr. If your howling isn’t enough
to send your dear old dad into spasms of absolute irritation, well, there’s
also a serious, thrash-metal whupping from Pantera.
           Of course, this is all in fun. All I know is my kids love
this disc in the van, so I like it too.
— Dave Cross
This week for families:
Barnes &
Noble Greece Storytimes Every Wed, 9:30 and 10:30 a.m.; every Fri 10:30 a.m. and 7
p.m.; 330 Greece Ridge Center Dr, 227-4020
Barnes &
Noble Pittsford Storytimes Every Wed 9:30 and 11 a.m.; every Fri 7 p.m.; 3349 Monroe
Ave. 586-6020
Brighton
Memorial Library Storytimes Every Mon 10:30 a.m., toddlers; every
Mon 11:30 a.m., preschoolers; every Tues 7 p.m., all ages; every Wed 3:30 p.m.,
ages 5-7; Every Thurs 7 p.m., families; Every Fri 10:30 a.m., ages 2-4. | 2300
Elmwood Ave, 784-5300
Charlie
and the Chocolate FactoryThurs-Sun, Mar
18-28. Performed by the Rochester Academy of Performing Arts, 727 East Main St,
Thurs-Sat 7 p.m., Sun 2 p.m. Tix: $10, $7 kids. 325-3366, www.rapaonline.org.
Model Matzah
Bakery Wed-Thurs,
Sun, Mar 17-18, 21. Learn how to make matzah, Jewish Community Center, 1200
Edgewood Ave, Wed-Thurs 4-6 p.m., Sun 1-5 p.m. Free. 271-0330
“Parent-Caregiver
Relationships: Marriage Without the Vows” Wed, Mar 24. Amy Baker, speaker,
Rochester Association for the Education of Young Children, Cornell Cooperative
Extension, 249 Highland Ave, 7 p.m. Free.
Phillis
Wheatley Community Library Storytimes Every Thurs. For preschoolers, 33 Dr.
Samuel McCree Way, 10:30 a.m. 428-8212
Rochester
Model Railroad Club Open House Sat-Sun, Mar 20-21. Rochester Model
Railroad Club, First Universalist Church, 150 S Clinton Ave, Sat 10 a.m.-5
p.m., Sun 1-5 p.m. Donations. 454-2567
Seneca
Park Zoo: The
Critter Challenge, Sat, Mar 20, animal trivia, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. | Book and Beast, Wed, Mar 17 and 24, 11
a.m.| Family Fun Night, Wed, Mar 17, African adventure, 6-8 p.m. Tix: $35
per family. |2222 St. Paul St. Tix:
$5. 467-9453
Strong
Museum:All Aboard! Family Trains
Weekend, Sat-Sun, Mar 20-21, train displays, songs, crafts, activities, Sat
10 a.m.-5 p.m., and Sun 12-5 p.m. Tix: $7, $5 kids. | Ragtime, Cakewalks, and Traditional Jazz, Wed, Mar 24, the Making
American Music series, music by the Smugtown Stompers, 7:30 p.m. Tix: $12. |
One Manhattan Square, 263-2700, www.strongmuseum.org.
Information
on museum exhibits can be found in the calendar’s Museum section.
A
body in life and death
My
mother-in-law, Joan, died unexpectedly in her sleep two weeks ago. She had
requested a cremation and no service. I respected that, but in the vacuum
formed by our lack of religious traditions, my husband and I wanted to do
something meaningful for our children and ourselves.
           Mark Anthony, co-director of Anthony
Funeral Home, suggested that seeing her and saying goodbye would help us heal.
           “Death is a natural part of life,”
he said, “but because it’s unfamiliar, we fear it.”
           At first, I wasn’t sure it was a
good idea. Like many, I associated death with creepiness and decay, the exact
opposite of the wonderful woman who had brought so much light into our lives.
           But the boys had questions. “How do
they know she’s dead?” and, “Do people ever get buried when they are still
breathing?”
           We entered a private room in the funeral
home and saw her lying on a bed with wheels. Her hands were folded over a
pretty blanket and her hair was brushed back. Unlike at a wake, where dead
people look like they’re made of plastic, she looked like herself. Peaceful.
Younger than her 77 years.
           I cried and held her delicate hands.
“Your grandma loved you so much,” I said to the boys.
           “Can we touch her?” they asked,
fascinated.
           They took turns holding her hands,
which were neither ice-cold nor rigid. She was our Grandma Joan, all right. But
she was dead. And we are sad.
—
Jennifer Loviglio
This article appears in Mar 17-23, 2004.
