Virtue is its own reward, but a little scholarship money
wouldn’t hurt either, right?

If you’re a secondary school student in grades 9-12 and you
live or go to school in Monroe County, here’s your chance. The InterFaith Forum
of Rochester sponsors an annual essay contest honoring the memory of the Rev.
James A. Rice. The topic is “Building Community: Bridging Our Differences.”

Don’t worry, no one expects you to have built the
cross-cultural equivalent of the Golden Gate Bridge. If you’ve built any bridge
spanning differences between people, even if you think it’s more along the
lines of the Ford Street Bridge, you’re encouraged to apply.

Your essay should discuss facing differences and developing
understanding and cooperation among people from diverse backgrounds in the
Rochester area. Some differences you might want to explore include ethnic,
national, cultural, racial, religious, economic, sexual orientation, or
disabilities. Write about things you have seen or done. Remember to include
practical ideas for bridging differences, improving mutual understanding, and
building community. You don’t want your bridge to resemble a sand castle in the
sky.

The essay length is two to three pages, using 12 point type.
After what you’ve been through with the New York State Learning Standards and
No Child Left Behind Act, it’ll be a piece of cake.

Your essay must be postmarked no later than October 29,
2004. First prize is $150.00. For more information, and to get a registration
form, go to http://www.ggw.org/~buildcommunity/guidelines.html or call Isabel
Morrison at 585-654-5989.

— Linda Kostin (www.junkstorecowgirl.com)

This week for families:

Dave Mancini
and Drums for Kids Wed, Sept 22. Interactive music show for kids, House of
Guitars, 645 Titus Ave, 7 p.m. Free. 266-4040

Hispanic Month
Events Wed,
Sept 22, Hispanic heritage night, Carter St. Community Center, 500 Carter St,
6-8 p.m. 428-7890 | Wednesdays, cooking classes, ages 6-15, South Avenue
Community Center, 900 South Ave, 4-5:30 p.m. 428-6015 | Tuesdays, cooking
classes, all ages, Avenue D Recreation Center, 200 Ave D, 5:30-7 p.m. 428-7934
| Wed, Sept 29, piรฑata making party, City Hall Atrium, 30 Church St, 12-2 p.m.

Interfaith Forum
Essay Contest Deadline: Oct 29. Theme: Building community, bridging our
differences, grades 9-12. Info: www.ggw.org/buildingcommunity

RMSC
Strasenburgh Planetarium 657 East Ave. Pink
Floyd Laser: Sat 9 p.m.; A Trip to
Saturn and Pluto: Sat 1 p.m.; Pulse:
A Stomp Odyssey: Wed-Fri 4 p.m.; Sat 2, 3, 4, 8 p.m.; Sun 1, 2, 3, 4 p.m.; I See the Sky: Sat 9:30 a.m.; The Sky Tonight: Sat 10:30 a.m.; Tix:
$4-$7. 271-1880

Rochester
Museum and Science Center 657 East Ave. Mushroom Mania, Sun, Sept 26, Cummings Nature
Center, 6472 Gulick Rd, Naples, 12-4 p.m. | Surprise!
It’s Science, through May 2005. | Rochester’s
Frederick Douglass, through January 2006. | Live Science! demos and
theater, Wed-Fri 3:30 p.m.; Sat 2, 3, 4 p.m.; Sun 1:30, 2:30, 3:30 p.m. Sat 3
p.m. show sign-interpreted. | Ongoing exhibits include: AdventureZone, Carlson
Inquiry Room, At the Western Door.
| Hours: Mon-Sat 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun 12-5 p.m. Tix: $5-$7. 271-1880, www.rmsc.org.

Saturday Art
for Children Saturdays, Sept 25-Nov 13. Grades K-6, Nazareth Arts Center,
Nazareth College campus, 10-11:30 a.m. $60. 389-2532

Seneca Park
Zoo 2222
St Paul St. Hours: daily 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Tix: $5, $4 seniors, $2 kids. 467-9453,
www.senecazoo.org.

Strong Museum 1 Manhattan
Square. Wed, Sept 22, Making American Music, Jon Seiger and the All-Stars, 7:30
p.m. Sold Out. | Fri, Sept 24, deaf awareness day, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. | Long-term
exhibits include National Toy Hall of Fame, Can You Tell Me How To Get To
Sesame Street? and Super Kids Market. Hours: Mon-Thurs 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Fri 10
a.m.-8 p.m.; Sat 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun 12-5 p.m. Tix: $7; $6 seniors, students;
$5 children. 263-2700

Hurting

Toddlers are determined and tireless social scientists,
pushing the frontiers of human relations with their new abilities. At some
point in their early lives, they discover that they can hit, bite, pinch, and
pull our hair. It is exciting experimentation. The child wonders, “What happens
when I do this?” “Is the response dependable?”

Parents react with pain and surprise when their child first
begins to intentionally hurt them. “We never taught little Bruno to hurt
people. Why is he doing this?” Most of us say, “Ouch! Stop that!” Then we talk
and pay more attention to the child, reinforcing the behavior and prompting more
hurting.

Our responses change with our moods and patience, and
increase with repeated injuries. Some parents even hit, bite, and pinch their
kids back. While painful to the child, this simply models and reinforces the
value of causing pain. The toddler learns, “This is powerful.”

Parental reactions to these experiments begin to shape the
meaning of cruel exchanges in each child’s life. What do we want to teach our
children about the value of intentionally hurting other people?

I recommend a simple, consistent response. When your child
begins to explore hurting: stop talking, make no eye contact, turn them around
and put them down on the floor, away from you, every time, over and over. The
unspoken message, repeatedly, is: “Hurting behavior leads to social isolation.”
Balancing this with constant attention for their gentleness, we hope our
children learn the subtle power of kindness.

—Laurence I.
Sugarman, MD

This article appears in Sep 22-28, 2004.