New daddy diary, September 20, 2006
Tess, I asked your grandma what my idiosyncrasies were as a
baby your age, but she couldn’t recall many specifics. We don’t want to forget
the little things, so I figured I’d jot down a couple behaviors your mom and I
find particularly amusing.
I started counting the number of times that you take my
glasses off and drop them on the floor. Over a two-week period, your average is
4.5 times per day. That’s 14 days, 63 times. You started this
six weeks ago. I’d say, “you do the math,” but you’re
not ready for that yet.
And then there’s your fascination with the remote control.
If it’s anywhere near, you ignore the surrounding bounty of toys and lunge for
it. You turn it over and back and squeeze it and bite it and push buttons in
such random order that you’ve revealed many obscure on-screen settings and
options that we never knew we had.
To help us figure it out, I placed you in a semicircle of
colorful toys, plus the dull black remote. You went right for it. So I changed
up the order, making sure the remote wasn’t the last item I touched. It didn’t
matter — you went for the remote. Then I covered your eyes and placed it in
the least convenient spot in the semicircle. You went for a toy, but looked
around, saw the remote, and went for it again.
We thought this might be the result of your observing us
with it, but we never hold onto it. So maybe it’s all the little buttons, then?
Well, we bought a toy remote control with many little buttons, and it’s your
least favorite toy in the house. Lately, I’ve resorted to asking you directly.
“Why? Why the remote?” But you only answer in vowels.
Maybe when you discover consonants you can find a way
to tell us?
— Brandon Heffernan
This article appears in Sep 20-26, 2006.
