“American Idol” 2013, Hollywood Week, Part 3: Girls just want to implode

After the guys were whittled down to 20 semi-finalists last
week (well, kind of), this week it’s all about the ladies. There were a few
cuts in the Sudden Death round, but most of the action focused on groups. So I’ll
do the same.

After Sudden Death 72 girls remained for group round. As we
discovered last week, this year the producers assigned the groups; they were
not self selected. As several contestants noted, when
you force girls into groups, competing amongst one another, the claws were
likely to come out. And if you think the show wasn’t counting on that, you
don’t know “American Idol.”

The Swagettes – Candice Glover, KamariaOusley, Melinda Ademi, and Denise Jackson – did that “Idol” favorite “Hit ‘Em Up, Style.” Shout out to S4’s JanayCasteen. They did some good a cappella harmonizing,
but Kamaria was rough and Melinda was just awful.
Candice was the clear star here. All in all, the group was stronger than most
of the individual members. They all went through to the next round. Really not
sure why Melinda is being pushed through so relentlessly.

Raising Cain – Morgan Leigh, Lauren Mink, Brandy Hotard, somebody else — did “Sin Wagon” and it was kind of
a mess. One of them was not gelling with the others harmonically. The whole
thing seemed quite manic. There were parts where they obviously weren’t sure
what they were supposed to be doing. I hated most of it. The only one that
worked for me was Lauren. But Nicki Minaj sure seemed
to love it and babbled on before sending them all through. Eyeroll.

Almost Famous – Savannah Votion, Lizz Weiss, Daysia Hall, J’Leigh Chauvin– went with “Somebody That I Used to Know”
and attempted to turn it into four-part harmony, which is…ambitious. Too much
so, because very little of it came together. They were all over the place. The
sloppy outfits, the unsexy “sexy” dance moves — all of it was really grim.
That said, I still think Savannah is a hell of a singer. She just desperately
needs a makeover. For reasons that make no sense at all, Daysia
– one of the weakest in the group – was the only one who made it through. The
other girls were angry about that, pointing out that Daysia
forgot her words and the others tried to push her through it. Savannah was
furious and made the cardinal sin of swearing not to come on the show again. That attitude not going to help you in any way, dear.

The aptly named Dramatics – KrissMincey, JanelStinney,
Cristabel Clack, someone
else – did “If I Die Young.” Fascinating group.Cristabel has such an interesting, textured tone. She
sounded very strained, but she really connects with the song. Janel, who clearly has some personal issues, can really
sing, but she totally forgot the words and she seemed like a real disaster to
work with. She broke down on stage about how she felt like she didn’t fit in,
which Nicki found “endearing.” Based on the footage they showed, I don’t think
she’s endearing at all; I think she’s a mess. All four of them were put
through.

Urban Hue – Seretha Guinn, Tenna Torres, Kiara
Lanier, someone else – all sounded constipated while singing “American Boy.”
Nicki told them that it was “painful” before asking, “What was that?” Nicki
said that Seretha lacked star power, and that the
song choice was poor. In the end they cut only Seretha.
They all should have been sent home based on that number.

The Poosnaps – Isabelle, goddess Zoanette Johnson, Erin Christine, Lauren Bettes – did a rousing rendition of “Knock on Wood.” Erin
was terrific, Lauren forgettable, Isabelle was good, and Zoanette
drifted between ridiculous and sublime. Lots of energy,
though. And Lauren was indeed cut, the other three moved forward.

Handsome Women – Shira Gavrielov,
Alisha Dixon, Liz Bills, CourtneyCalle
– struggled through “Somebody That I Used to Know.” I don’t know why so many of
the girl groups picked this song; it is not well suited for most female ranges.
Shira was one of the worst voices I’ve ever heard at this stage in the
competition. This song was 100 percent out of Alisha’s range. Courtney can
sing, and Liz did a solid job, which infuriated the rest of her group, because
apparently she was a prima donna who thought she was too good for the rest of
the group. Apparently there was a reason for that. After being cut, Shira came
back on stage and demanded an explanation for her axing. Here’s an explanation:
you sounded like shit. You were off pitch, you screwed up the words. Kick rocks,
deuces.

An unnamed group featuring Stephanie Schimel,
Alex Delaney, KalliTherinae,
and Holly Miller changed their song completely TWO HOURS before going on stage.
Stephanie and Alex had no idea what they were singing – Alex was actually
trying to read lyrics off her sweaty palm. Stephanie can sing well but she was a
marble-mouthed mess. Kalli did a solid job, but
weirdly got cut, while Stephanie and Holly made it through. I thought Holly
sounded pretty bad, so I don’t get that. Even Stephanie seemed surprised to get
the nod.

The Dolly Chicks – Britnee
Kellogg, Kree Harrison, Brandy Neelly,
Haley Davis – also did “Sin Wagon” and made me sad. Britnee absolutely killed it, Kree
was fine, Brandy and Haley had no idea what they were
singing. Haley was reading the lyrics off her arm, and Nicki called her out as
“ridiculous” and “disrespectful” for her behavior. Nicki was not having it. The
only one cut, weirdly, was Brandy. Haley had no business making it through to
the next round. Absolutely none. To her credit, Brandy
handled it like a champ.

The Misfits – Kez Ban, Breanna Steer, Angela Miller, Janelle
Arthur – did “Be My Baby,” and it was a mixed bag. Janelle was spectacular,
Angela was great, but Breanna was singing in a
completely different key, and Kez Ban was doing her
own Kez Ban thing. I think she’s fascinating but I
felt for the other members of her group. Thing is, it kind of worked itself out
by the end. Nicki loved the whole thing, and specifically called out Janelle
for being a superstar. They all went through. Seriously, I thought Breanna was awful.

Thursday night: solo rounds for girls, Top 40 revealed

This article appears in Feb 13-19, 2013.