“RuPaul’s Drag Race” Season 6, Episode 5: Snatch Game!

This episode, and its companion “Untucked,”
were so stuffed with great moments that there wasn’t even time for a
mini-challenge. RuPaul skipped the foreplay and got
straight to the kaikai — Snatch Game, the challenge
that separates the true queens from the pretenders to the throne.

While the Snatch Game itself proved one of the better
editions in series history, the episode as a whole majorly
changed my opinions on several of the contestants. Some rose in my estimation
(Adore, Joslyn), some dropped (MILK), and some I am
completely, totally over (LAGANJA).

The best way to handle this is to go queen by queen,
starting from the top and going to the bottom.

BenDeLaCreme was the surprise winner of the challenge, although at this point, Ben winning
really shouldn’t be a shock. He’s done so well so far, but Ben admitted to
being nervous about Snatch Game, and RuPaul was
openly dismissive of Ben’s plan to portray Maggie Smith. But Ben absolutely
killed it. Funny, witty, great retorts, totally in character, and looked
amazing on the RuPaul-themed runway. Ben is a huge
threat, and VERY likable. But I continue to be so nervous for him. I realize
it’s the same fear I had for Jinkx, Sharon, and Raja
in their seasons — these are all special queens who are so good at what they
do. But what about that one week where they’re asked
to do something at which they DON’T excel? Ben claimed that impersonations are
not his thing, and that Snatch Game worried him. False modesty? Deliberately
lowering expectations? I don’t know. I just know that I adore everything about
Ben (the fact that he’s a fellow member of the Former Fatty Club only endears
him to me more), and I want desperately for him to be there until the end. But
y’all are making me SWEAT IT.

Bianca Del Rio was
largely assumed to be the winner of this challenge based on her character
choice of Judge Judy — brilliant, and brilliantly executed — and because Bianca
is just generally awesome. And Bianca lived up to the hype in the Snatch Game,
more or less running the proceedings with her gavel (and her putdowns). Where
Bianca likely lost the win was the runway, where her RuPaul
ensemble looked an awful lot like just another Bianca gown. Now, let’s be real:
any Bianca look is still better than the majority of the looks that come down
that runway. But she’s not giving us a ton of variation on that front, and this
is the part where the judges are going to start asking to see more aspects of
her drag. And I believe that’s something Bianca can give us, if she chooses to
do so.

Adore Delano stunned
me this week. Here is a case of a queen picking the absolute perfect Snatch
Game character — Anna Nicole Smith — and nailing it to the wall. Adore’s take on Anna Nicole was totally over the top, but
deliberately so, and blisteringly funny. I never thought of Adore as a great
comedian before, but she has comic chops, and that charisma we keep hearing
about was in full effect tonight. She also stepped it up on the runway, thanks
in part to Bianca helping her with a cincher. (She
still has a long way to go on her presentation skills, however.) I also was very pleased to
see Adore separate herself from the Kiddie Pool (Laganja and Gia) on “Untucked,” specifically calling out Laganja’s
almost pathological victim shtick (more on that in a second). Very pleased with
her this week.

Darienne Lake probably just missed out on being
in the top, which is an indication of the strength of this Snatch Game. Darienne was great as Paula Deen,
getting in some sharp one-liners delivered with a melted-butter Southern
accent. She also looked great on the runway, evoking RuPaul’s Eartha Kitt homage.

Courtney Act was
safe, and from what we saw of her Fran Drescher
impersonation, she did well in Snatch Game. She looked incredible on the
runway. I wondered — did she borrow the “wings” from Darienne?
We saw Darienne use something that looked just like
them in Episode 3…

Joslyn Fox portrayed “Real Houswife” Teresa Giudice, and
this was the episode where I finally made up my mind on Joslyn.
The ditzy thing is an act. She is playing this game very shrewdly, mostly
flying under the radar but still doing well enough in the challenges to get
positive notices, while simultaneously endearing herself to the other queens
and the viewers at home. At this point she has to be the lead candidate for
Miss Congeniality. But she’s more than just pretty and sweet. Joslyn had some very funny lines as Teresa, who is not a
character I think of as naturally funny. That took work, yet Joslyn made it seem easy. I had totally dismissed her early
on, but she’s definitely got potential. She needs to up her wardrobe, but I
want to see more of her, for sure.

Trinity K. Bonet is another one that inspires conflicting thoughts — and that’s just based on this episode alone. Her Nicki Minaj focused way too much on the wigs and seemed
like an endless line of missed opportunities (based on what we saw, at least).
Her runway gown — which she apparently made herself — was stunning, and I
suspect helped save her from Bottom 3. Her defeatist attitude in “Untucked” was exhausting, but when she explained her
frustration over feeling mocked for her speech impediment by Santino (something RuPaul
denies), I felt for her. And then when she disclosed her HIV-positive status,
and got the video from her mother, you couldn’t help but root for her. The
problem is, Trinity is not rooting for Trinity. Not fully. I don’t get the
feeling that Trinity believes she can really do this. She said this very
episode that she’s not the best. There is obvious talent there, and there are
moments when I really relate to this young queen. And then there are moments
when I find her frustrating. But the bottom line is, like Joslyn,
Trinity is so much more interesting than I expected. I am hopeful that her “moments”
in “Untucked” this episode light a fire in her.
Preferably one fed by those tragic Nicki Minaj wigs.

MILK is tragic
for entirely different reasons. I had no idea who MILK was until the Season 6
cast announcement. Then I instantly loved him. I’ve loved all of the clips I’ve
seen online of MILK (the “He went to Jared!” one cracks me up). My expectations
were super high, and they were met in that first episode. Since then it has
been a slow slide to — I’m going to say it — mediocrity. MILK is obviously a
smart, interesting queen. I just wish that the performance level matched up
with the sharp visual aesthetic. MILK’s Julia Child
was a whiff. The same could be said of his performance in the horror challenge,
and the Grizabella character last week wasn’t great,
either. The Work Room Ru look — essentially MILK in
boy drag, or as one member of my viewing party remarked, “Hey, why is that
creepy guy from the old Six Flags commercials on ‘Drag Race’?” — was intended
to shock. And it did, I’ll admit. (I was somewhat surprised that MILK didn’t
just come out in blackface.) But it can’t just be shock. There’s
got to be something there for us to latch on to, to root for, and MILK isn’t
providing that. And for what it’s worth, I agree with Santino
Rice (*ducks in fear of lightning bolts*). If MILK really wants to surprise us
at this point, she’d give us serious glamour, just to show us she can. When
MILK complained that doing that wouldn’t be true to her, RuPaul
brought up the dreaded vulnerability criticism. The clock is
ticking, MILK. I will avoid a terrible spoiled-dairy
pun out of respect for you.

Gia Gunn was initially planning to portray
Latina pop star Selena, which is a truly baffling choice. (Adore had it exactly
right: “What are you going to do with that? ‘I eat pizza and I got shot by
Yolanda?’”) After RuPaul basically told Gia to change it, Gia switched to
Kim Kardashian. Kim has the potential to be parodied
successfully, and Gia has the ability to do it (see
her whining, soul-dead intoning of “ABSOLUTELY!” as proof). But, she flopped in
the Snatch Game, and came out on the runway looking a mess. Santino
was right again (more lightning bolts!) when he called it a castoff from a
cheap Halloween store, with a busted wig and a wonky eyelash. It was a 1-2
punch that sent Gia to the Bottom 2, and had her lipsynching for her life to “Head to Toe” by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam (YES!). After an awkward, clumsy on-stage
costume change, Gia was put out of our miseries. But
not before she threw a few last insults at the remaining contestants for being
dudes in lipstick. Bold words from Our Lady of the Cockeyed
Eyelash. Bye, girl. Bye.

Laganja Estranja,
however, is now officially the worst. She won the lipsynch,
but she is still the worst. What an exhausting, infuriating character she has
become. I will concede that what we are seeing of Laganja
is a highly edited version, a version of her curated
by the editors. But unless there’s footage on the cutting-room floor of her,
like, rescuing orphaned puppies from burning buildings or curing cancer while
simultaneously transforming water into vodka, I can’t imagine much that would
change my opinion of her based on what we’ve been shown.

Here begins the rant that is going to piss off most readers
under 30, and offend several of my friends: Laganja
embodies everything that drives me nuts about Millennials.
And, yes, this is a generalization — but one I’ve found to be more true than
not. She is obnoxious, hyper, sullen, entitled, needy, and incapable of dealing
with any criticism whatsoever. Bianca referred to Langaja
as an attention whore, but I think that’s wrong. All drag queens are attention
whores, almost by definition. But people like Laganja
are attention vampires. They need to be focused on constantly, and when the
spotlight isn’t on them, they’ll seek it out and take it. They must be the
center of attention — but only positive attention. Because they cannot be told
that they are wrong, or that they need to improve. Because
they are already awesome. Did you know that they are awesome? Listen:
they are awesome. And if you can’t see that, well, that’s really offensive and hurtful to
them. And if they can’t get their way, they pack up their toys and go home.

Which is precisely what Laganja
tried to do in her first Bottom 2 appearance for her bizarre robot take on
Rachel Zoe. I actually felt bad for Gia — I FELT BAD
FOR GIA, that’s how infuriating this situation was — when Gia
spent her moments pre-LSFYL having to reassure Laganja
and talk her into performing, because Laganja was threatening
to give up. What exactly did Laganja expect to happen
when she went on this show? That she would sail to the win without ever having
to be criticized? Without ever appearing in the Bottom 2?
Ridiculous. Delusional. Laganja has been quite quick
with an insult on this show, but even quicker with the water works if anyone
makes her feel like anything other than the special snowflake she perceives
herself to be. Typical. And typically exhausting.

“I want the world to hold my hand, and I’m sorry for that,” Laganja said on “Untucked.” First,
no you’re not sorry. You are clearly not sorry for feeling that way at all.
Second, some people have real problems in this world, and watching your little
dramas is OFFENSIVE to them. Grow. Up. This is not cute, and it’s not
excusable.

My assumption was that once Gia
was eliminated — because Gia was obviously getting
the Early Bitch edit, and there was no way she would ever get close to the
final — Bianca would emerge as the true terror of the season. But Bianca is firmly
being shown as our Mother Hen. A brusque, blunt Mother Hen, but still, behind
her barbs is a lot of heart. And I assumed we’d be getting a Laganja redemption edit in the second half of the season.
Now, I think we need to saddle up for Laganja as L’Enfant
Terrible. We’ll get a mix of meltdowns, breakdowns, and tantrums as she rejects
any and all criticism thrown her way, by the judges or the other queens. And
it’s a shame, because Laganja DOES have talent —
she’s an amazing dancer (we saw that in the lipsynch),
has a great visual style, and I suspect she’s going to murder next week’s rap
challenge. But who can root for her with this juvenile bullshit? To quote
stand-up comic John Mulaney, “You could have stayed a
guy if you wanted to be an asshole.”

Next: Rapping! Ru-Tang Clan! If
there’s not a lipsynch to “My Neck, My Back (Lick
It)” by Khia I will be SORELY disappointed.

This article appears in Mar 19-25, 2014.