Pop quiz
When we first heard about Coke BlaK
— the new bastardization of classic Coca-Cola via infusion of “natural
flavors and coffee essence” (and yes, that goofy spelling is intentional) —
we were nonplussed. At best it seemed like the tackiest derivation of the
so-five-minutes-ago Hollywood It combo Red Bull and vodka. At worst it sounded…
really nasty. So when the product finally hit shelves last week we held an
impromptu taste test.
Turns out we were wrong. Coke BlaK
doesn’t suck — at least, not entirely.
Sure, a few of the pickier folks deemed it “disgusting” and
“ew…gross.” But the majority of the soda samplers
here found it surprisingly tasty. “It’s better than I thought it would be — I
expected the worst,” said one writer.”
A whiff from the over-packaged glass bottle (covered mouth
to foot in shrink-wrapped plastic) suggests a sickeningly sweet brew; it smells
like Jelly Belly coffee-flavored jelly beans taste. But the actual flavor is
light and pleasant, essentially like cold, carbonated coffee. One person
detected a hint of licorice; another pegged it as slightly caramelized cane
sugar.
That said, we wondered who, exactly, would buy the stuff.
The price is outrageous — nearly $2.75 per 8 ounce bottle where we picked it
up. And hardcore coffee drinkers aren’t likely to switch to soda for their
caffeine fix. Our prediction: within a year or two Coke BlaK will go the way of Crystal Pepsi.
Idol hands,
devil’s playthings
Anyone who watched last week’s ouster of Mandisa
from TV phenomenon American Idol could
rightly think that our nation has lost its collective marbles. (See also: the
2004 presidential election.) How else to explain the fact that far less
talented singers like Ace Young or Bucky Covington
could still win the singing competition when our powerhouse diva has been given
the boot?
Actually, you could lay some of the
blame on www.votefortheworst.com. For three years now
the website has campaigned for AI viewers to call in and vote for the crappiest singers in an effort to keep them
on stage, thus upping the schadenfreude factor for
the snarky among us at home. Previous VFTW picks
include Season 3’s red-headed John “Crooner” Stevens and Season 4’s Scott
“Sausage Fingers’ Savol, both of whom undeniably were
the worst of their lots. And with more than 3 million hits on the VFTW website,
those two gents likely owe some of their overlong stints to the site’s savvy
brand of pop culture sabotage.
This year VFTW initially championed embryonic nerd Kevin Covais, but after the Chicken Little lookalike
got snuffed in Week 2 the site decided to “back” twangtastic
country gal Kellie Pickler. So far so good, as Pickler has yet to land in the bottom three despite
strictly average vocals, while legitimate stars-in-the-making Katharine McPhee, Paris Bennett and Elliott Yamin
hover near extinction. Well played, VFTW. Well played.
This article appears in Apr 12-18, 2006.
