When will smart people finally perfect cloning?

This is what I wonder while scanning the upcoming arts and
cultural events listed in this year’s Fall Guide. As I write this I’m trying to
figure out how I can be three places at once since not one, not two, but THREE
interesting stage shows all open this Saturday at 8
p.m. But I realized that even if I did have two clones of myself,
they’d end up getting distracted between the arts shows, the dance
performances, the festivals, the film openings, and then we’d need even more Erics wandering around to take it all in. And nobody wants
that.

So I’m sorry to inform you that, barring rapid scientific
advances courtesy of the Egghead-American community, it will be virtually
impossible for you to take advantage of every amazing cultural opportunity
coming up in Rochester this fall
(and beyond). The good news is that City Newspaper’s cultural critics have
chimed in with their top picks for the most exciting music concerts, dance
performances, theater shows, art exhibits, film screenings, and more coming up
in the 2011-2012 arts season. If you need even more ideas for what to see and
do, check out the 2011 Fall Guide on rochestercitynewspaper.com, which will
include comprehensive listings from all of the area arts and cultural
organizations.

Not that we’re advocating that you stay indoors all fall.
Autumn is lovely in Rochester, and this Fall Guide also includes an essay about
appreciating some of our city’s more stalwart sentinels — trees — as well as a
massive list of festivals and special events that should get you into the crisp
fall air. No matter what you do, enjoy yourself. And if you do happen to figure
out that cloning trick, please let me know.