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When Khadesha Okwudili was a graduate student at the University in Rochester in 2017, she was diagnosed with a rare heart condition known as catecholaminergic polymorphic ventricular tachycardia. CPVT causes sudden heart rhythm disturbances in otherwise healthy people, and the condition is fatal for up to half of those who are diagnosed with it.

As she faced her own mortality, Okwudili thought a lot about the relationships that were important to her, and began asking deep, meaningful questions of those people.

"I would ask them, like, 'What's something I do that makes you feel loved?'," she said. "And although my health was deteriorating, my relationships started thriving in a way they never had before."

Okwudili wanted to share this discovery with other people, so she created an app that prompts daily questions couples can ask each other.

It's called “Agape” — a Greek word that essentially means unconditional love.

"Couples may care about each other, but having sort of an entry point into a slightly deeper conversation than, 'Who's gonna to do the dishes, 'What are we having for dinner tonight?' can be difficult for people," said University of Rochester Psychology Professor Ron Rogge, Okwudili's partner in the project.

The current version of the app was released in 2023, and a basic version of the app is free. A subscription version, which has more question categories and interactive features, costs $19.99 per year for two users.

When Okwudili became ill, she was studying neuroscience and epidemiology at UR, chasing a childhood dream of becoming a physician scientist. Now that her heart condition is stable following surgery at the Mayo Clinic, Okwudili is full-time as founder and CEO of Agape Wellness, Inc. With Rogge, she spends hours crafting questions for app users, who total more than 2.2 million.

They range from silly, such as 'What skills does your partner have that would help them survive a zombie apocalypse?' to the more serious 'Describe a time you were thankful to have your partner by your side.'

"In those few minutes each day, we can create little moments of connection,” said Rogge, “and just doing that for a few weeks has a clear effect, even for people who've been together for 10, 20, 30 years."

While it began as a tool for romantic partners, Agape can also be used by friends, family members, or anyone who wants a closer relationship. (Okwudili and Rogge are currently working on a new category of questions that members of the armed services living away from home can explore with their children.)

In a study of more than 400 Agape users, 80% reported improvement in their romantic relationships over one month, while 70% saw improvements in their own wellbeing.

For Okwudili, the reason the app works is simple.

"I think it's because we crave connection,” she said, “but we just don't have many opportunities for it naturally.”

Beth Adams is the host of Morning Edition on WXXI. She can be reached at [email protected].